Unscripted - A Blog for Actors - Backstage

"I Will Not Make Any More Boring Art"

So wrote the wise James Baldessari... over and over and over again.

 I can imagine Baldessari, a man who lit his entire body of
work on fire and watched it burn to ash, writing each letter of that
phrase deliberately, reiterating the promise to himself with every stroke of his pen.

 I have been thinking of those words recently, and of Baldessari’s impulse to torch everything that he had done but was not proud of.

 Confession:  I have made boring art.  Probably you have, too.  You felt it, right?  That moment when you can go through the motions and know someone else will say “Good job!” but you aren’t going to have a deep and lengthy conversation about it later.

Taking It Off

Have you ever had to take your clothes off for a role?

I haven't yet.  Not really, anyway.  There was a scene in a play I did in college where my character was constantly changing her outfit, so naturally I ended up with just my underwear on more than once, but that was college, and all art students get naked in college, right?

I do not have a problem with artistic nudity.  At all.  I've always been all for the human body and the admiration of it, and even though I do not consider myself an exhibitionist in the least, I have never taken personal issue with anyone (myself included) sans clothes on the stage or in front of a camera, as long as it doesn't feel arbitrary, gratuitous or any of those other words that generally define something that doesn't deserve that kind of vulnerability from an artist.

Facebook is not as overwhelming as you think it is

Love it or hate it, our online lives are getting larger and more important by the second.  5 years ago, Facebook was that thing that college kids did.  Then kids from the high school you went to got into it (eew), then your mom (horror!) and then every business you could possibly think of (how many pages can a person possibly "like"?)

I was always the person who didn't allow myself to give into the fascination of secretly browsing through people's photos, reading their walls, scrutinizing their friends, and updating my status with ever mood change.  I was that person who "hated" Facebook, even though I never went so far as to delete mine.  Then their interface changed drastically about a year ago and for the first time in my computer using years, I thought "I can't take this!  I don't want to change!  I won't learn it!"

I realized that at 23, that thought made my attitude automatically ancient.  I was about to make myself 90 years old in terms of technical know-how.  Yes, technology is changing very rapidly.  Yes, we have to keep up with it.

Making the Most of Your Film Festival

The feature that I shot last year, Percival's Big Night, has had the great fortune of being admitted to several festivals across the country and internationally.  Having been a highly collaborative process and the product of a close-knit team, our cast of four has been very involved in marketing and promoting the film.

Coming from a theatre background, I feel like the film world is a whole new playground.  Happy as I am to be here, the festival circuit has been a real crash course in the game.  And it truly is a game.  If you lose sight of that, you're doomed.  Don't forget that this is supposed to be fun.  Yes, it's work and requires your utmost attention and dedication.  But as I always say, this is art, not war.  No one dies.  Take your opportunities and throw a giant party for them.  Say yes to the challenge and remember to smile as you take it on.

This week my main focus has been the Brooklyn Film Festival where Percival is screening.  This will be our third festival, and although my advice may be meager at the moment, I feel it is important to share for anyone who may be presently embarking on a similar journey.

How Not To Talk To An Agent

There is a fine line between self promotion and self implosion.  In this business, it's one we all have to walk on with frequency and skill.  You've got to be brave, but you also have to be conscientious.  Personable and professional.  Pleasing, but not a pleaser.

As someone who tends towards shyness and observation, I know that I have to work hard to put my feet in the right doors.  I have to remind myself to be more outgoing, especially in situations that I recognize as having good networking potential (but really, in NYC that's just about everywhere.  You never know who is in room.)

So where to draw that line?  It's hard to tell, and there are no hard rules.  What is important to remember at all times is that you are first and foremost a human being.  Use those human instincts.

Why Acting School Is Important

I have a very simple thought to share today.

One of the first things I learned in acting school was about creation, and what it means to create something with others.

I remember wanting to bang my head against the wall when in my very first college movement class, the teacher told us we were going to be "exploring the space"

"Oh great", I thought. "I came to college to re-enact my least favorite part of high school drama."

"Exploring the space" in my former drama classes always made me feel like an asshole.  Why?  Probably because high schoolers are assholes.  Or, to be more specific (and nicer), self conscious.  Particularly when it comes to bodies.  And of course, most kids in high school drama don't necessarily want to be actors.  Just getting on a stage is a big step for them, never mind pretending to be an animal.

A Story From A Reader

Last week I posted a series of photos of shoes I came upon in New York City that appeared to be missing their feet, and asked people to imagine how the shoes came to be without their owners.

It's been a joy to read everyone's responses.  As promised, I am going to share the stories here.  This first one comes from Lakshmi Iyer who writes from Portland, Oregon.  Here is the photo she chose and her interpretation:

Waltz on a sidewalk

The Case of The Missing Feet

We already know about my obsession with shoes...

... but have you ever seen just one shoe in the street?

I'm sure you have, as it seems to be quite a common occurance.  But how does it happen?  How does a person lose just one shoe?

Growing up I would often notice them by the side of the road; one-shoe castaways that begged a story of explanation from their previous owner.  Where was it's partner, and where was the foot it belonged too?  Where was that foot now?  Probably in a different pair of shoes, or else barefoot, since wearing one shoe is arguably less comfortable than wearing no shoes at all.

Over the past couple of weeks I have encountered an unusually high number of shoes without the feet they belong to.  Sometimes alone, and sometimes in pairs.  I know each of them must have a story, and therefore felt compelled to document them in some way.  So here - I present you with a series of shoes and the questions, "where are their feet?"

Take Note

It's 2012 and my love affair with New York City continues.  

This wonderful city and I took a break from each other last week - breaks continue to be a necessary part of a healthy relationship between the two of us.  Sometimes New York makes me tired, but absence makes the heart grow fonder; going away always means that I am happy to return.

I came back with a quieter mind, rested body and new awareness for this amazing place I live in.  In the past several days I have been taking the opportunity to take it in.

Inside the Actor's Studio Apartment

I am lucky to have been with my family over the past few days and I have been... 

... sleeping

... eating

... skiing(!)

... and reflecting

 ... because that just seems like something to do at the end of the year.

Some of Best Things Anyone has Ever Said to Me (Part II)

Continuing on from Part I... some of the best things I've ever heard and continue to think about on a regular basis.

"Don't Be An Asshole"

I know.  Simple and self-explanatory.  One of my good friends makes this dedication at the beginning of every yoga practice.  Don't be an asshole.  I love it because it's all about the little things.  Don't be an asshole, pick up your trash.  Don't be an asshole, hold the door for someone else.  Don't be an asshole, give up your seat on the train.  Don't be an asshole, when someone smiles at you, smile back.  Decency is contagious.

"You're a slowburn"

After graduating college one of my former teachers caught me in the middle of a audition-related meltdown.  After talking me down from my self-indulgent tower, he told me I needed to show myself some respect and have a little patience.  My process and path are unique to me, and I needed to understand that I am never the first horse out of the gate.  I've got this long fuse, see, that burns slowly and consistantly and always leads to dynamite.  So I shouldn't worry that I'm not blowing up quite yet.  That's just how I work.  Whatever the timing is, it's right.

Some of Best Things Anyone has Ever Said to Me (Part I)

I am lucky to have many wonderful, wise and inspirational people in my life.  I think about them all the time, and even if I don't see them on a regular basis, I can always hear their voices in my head.  It takes a special person to tell you the truth, and to tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear.  Here are some of those truths, aka, the bestmostawesometotallyrighton things anyone has ever said to me.

"Stay Innocent"  

One of my scene study teachers at school said this to us the first say of class.  Stay Innocent.  Not in the virginal, don't do anything bad ever kind of way, but in the excited, not-jaded, curious and passionate kind of way.  Don't assume you have it all figured out.  Don't let the world make you a victim (or a criminal.)

Fascinating Person Of The Week

Do you collect characters?  I do.  

One of the many reasons I love NYC are the abundant and rich people-watching opportunities.  A great deal of my character research happens inside the New York City Transit System.  It's awesome (though I have been guilty of listening to other people's conversations a little too intently.)

But what about historical figures?  I fantasize about which one of them I might one day get to play in a biopic, but I also think it's important to note them as important characters.  We remember and study them because they were significant in history and no matter who they were or what they did, they somehow captured people's attention.  And that's our job as actors, right?

I saw J. Edgar recently and even though the majority of the film's 137 minutes is devoted to Hoover's role as head of the FBI, the person I walked away wanting to know more about was Emma Goldman - a Russian born anarchist deported from the United States during the Red Scare.

More Theatre on the Internet

In light of my post last week and as part of the development of the transmedia piece I am working on, I went in search of more online theatre.  

It's a funny thing to look for because I am not entirely sure how to define online theatre.  I know - it's that epic conversation about "what is theatre" and we'll never come to a consensus on it. HOWEVER, I do think it's appropriate to differentiate between film streamed online, television online, webseries or webisodes, video blogs and theatre on the Internet.

 One of the things I found that I felt I could comfortably place in this small and specific category was the livestream from Joe's Pub at the Public.  Sure, they have music too, but they also have performances like The Civilians: Let me Ascertain You that are pretty easily defined at theatrical events.

Acting on Facebook

I'm in a transmedia piece right now.   The project integrates film (to appear as webisodes on the Internet), social media and live theatre.

So far the process has been challenging and utterly fascinating. One of the ideas we have been exploring is Facebook as a performance space.  Social media is all about doing, right?  In order to assert your presence on the Internet, you have to follow through on an action.  Each time you "post", "like", "comment", "tag", "check in", "update" etc, you are building your online character.  You are performing.

The characters we have developed for this piece are all online now.  They all have their own Facebook, Twitter and Google+ accounts.  Some of them have blogs.  They are all connected to one another online, even if they don't necessarily know each other well in their "real" lives.  

As we launch into our beta mode for how this world we are creating is actually going to function, we have been working hard to generate online content for our characters.  The more we post things online, comment on one another's statuses and begin connecting our characters to people in the real world, the greater presence they have.  The real-er they become.

Does this give them more power?

Acting is Like Flossing a Rhino

... this post is inspired by a list of similes by the wonderful Matthew Freeman on writing a play.

After re-reading them all today, I feel it appropriate to suggest the following:

Acting is like having an awesome dream, and then going to sleep every night hoping you'll have the same dream again.

Acting is like riding a dragon to school everyday... where you're taught that dragons don't exist.

Acting is like pantsing yourself.

Acting is like punching a really soft, cushy wall.

Acting is like speaking 11 languages fluently, and then going to a country where none of them are spoken.

Acting is like spending 20 minutes looking for your keys until you realize they're in your pocket.

Acting is like trying to find a four leaf clover... while being pursued by a herd of bison.

Acting is like feeding steak to a vegetarian.

Acting is like flossing a rhino.

Acting is like, for realz.

Acting is like hijacking a porsche and the purposefully driving it into a wall.

Red Stilettos, Vintage Pumps and Combat Boots

Shoe Fetish.

I have one.

I can do without that dress, I don't really need another white blouse right now, I won't buy those jeans unless they majorly go on sale and I'll just keep wearing that same coat I've had since I was in high school, but the shoes...

It's a well known fact that shoe shopping is therapuetic.  Who needs a shrink when you can go to DSW?  In that sense, perhaps I have saved myself a lot of money.  When I am sad, or feeling unusually anxious, or have somehow misplaced my self esteem, a really impractical pair of heels can turn everything around. 

Of course, four inch platforms, studded clogs and patent leather boots might seem like truly ridiculous and unneccessary purchases.  I live in New York.  I walk everywhere.  I do not work at a desk so there is very little sitting involved in my life.  I can just imagine my mother saying, "they're awesome, but when are you going to wear them?"

How to Punch a Wall

I am going to talk about something very important.

Wall Punching.

Even the best of us find ourselves overcome with the sudden furious and immature urge to beat the crap out of something.  To avoid getting hit back, we turn to inanimate objects.  Pillows, stuffed animals and couch cushions are the frequent and obvious victims of these erratic bursts of outrage - not only are they void of any offensive skills, they are weak on the defense as well.  Being completely soft and plush, the hitter suffers no repercussions. 

There are times, however, when a person becomes consumed with a mighty rage he or she needs to release in the form of sucker punching, but finds his or herself out of range of anything cushy.  What happens next might seem like an act of pure idiocy, but it is, in fact, a deep expression of frustration, excess testosterone and/or inebriation.  

Why does a person hit a wall, you may ask?

I'm Not Daniel Day Lewis

What do you say when someone asks you to talk about your acting process?

I will admit without shame that I have fantasized about the day when James Lipton asks me how I prepared for my oscar winning role...

... but now?

I was asked recently to talk about how I prepared for the role I played in Percival's Big Night... unless I was Daniel Day Lewis and didn't want to reveal the secrets of my acting process.

I am definitely not DDL.  There is nothing magical or secret about my acting technique.  But I do find it hard to talk about.  Why?

I think mostly in pictures.

A Playlist For You

Music has a huge impact on my mood.  Screw xanax.  Just give me my iPod, please.

Music can literally be the difference between getting work done and putting it off for another time, getting up in the morning or not, and going to sleep at night... or not.

Plus, if it weren't for portable tunes, I wouldn't exercise.  Ever.

And who would ever clean their homes if they couldn't turn on the radio or cd player?  

If it weren't for music, I would be fat, dirty and probably be significantly less intelligent.  Music helps me understand something about life that I might otherwise not even think about.  Also, I really take to heart that whole idea of classical music helping your brain retain information. I listened to a lot of Debussy and Bach while I was studying for my exams in high school and I think I will let the composers take credit for the high scores I got.  Studying music theory also made math easier for me.  I swear I couldn't do any math in my head at all until I learned to read sheet music.  I know that sounds crazy.  But it's not.  If you want an explanation of the mechanics of it, read Musicophilia by Oliver Sacks.