Unscripted - A Blog for Actors - Backstage

Fueling My Soul As An Artist

There are so many things that we can do as actors, musicians, dancers, writers- any type of artist to improve ourselves and our craft.  Take classes, practice, audition, read books.  All of this is extremely helpful and important.  Without classes, how can we improve, without auditioning, how do we get the exposure we need to work?  Recently though, the biggest thing I have found that helps me grow as an artist and gives me the most inspiration is going to see other shows and performances, both on Broadway and from my peers. 

Summer Lovin

There’s no excuse for such a hiatus in writing, but I’m still going to give one and say that this summer has been full of new experiences and epiphanies.  Thus, these life experiences have somewhat gotten in the way of me finding time to blog. 

Going into my second year of city living I am leaving behind many instances of confusion, self doubt, or frustration.  Whether it’s a year of growth in the city, turning another year older, dealing with new life experiences, or a combination of the three, I feel like I’ve taken control of my own destiny and my confidence has increased exponentially in every area of my life: acting, day job, relationships.

The Next Forty Years...

Cutting into my pollo con mole, sipping a spicy margarita, and listening to the thunderstorm outside, my girlfriend and I catch up on the weeks past.  The conversation turns to work, and suddenly, the thunder seems much more ominous.

“I was just at brunch with someone, and they said ‘Can you believe that we’ll be working for the next forty years of our lives?’  Weird to put a number on it like that, right?” my girlfriend asked me.

“Yaaa.  Oh my god.  Forty years.  Can you imagine doing something that you weren’t totally passionate about for that amount of time?”

“Well, things do happen and get in the way.  You have to support yourself; you have to support a family if you want one.  I’m sure it happens a lot and you just have to make the best of it.”

After dinner, I start to have a freak out.  I can NOT spend the next forty plus years doing something that I don’t like.  Nightmare, absolute nightmare.  But what if I don’t have a choice?

I haven’t done a show in a couple of months, and that scares me.  What if I can’t make a living out of performing?  What if I can’t make a living out of doing something artistic at all?  Hyperventilation ensued, and a very depressing night followed.

Rockette Inspiration

After a vacation, it can be so difficult to get back into the groove of ‘real life,’ even though my real life doesn’t always feel that real, between auditions, rehearsals, memorizing of monologues, and the taking on and off of tights.  But even so, after getting back from a European family vacation for two weeks, I found it extremely difficult to motivate myself for the onslaught of auditions that were to come.

It's Opening Night

There are few highs more exhilarating than the thrill of an opening night.  I am so excited that I get to open Tripartite Time tonight, a show that I’ve been rehearsing with three other actors for the past month.  The show is quite a challenging and evocative piece, and I’m proud with how far I’ve come as an actress during this process.

I Guess...Now I Know My Type...??

The other day at work, something so unbelievable happened to me, I had to share it with you.  Like many other artists, I work in a restaurant.  And naturally, most of my coworkers also happen to be actors, musicians, models or comedians.  One guy in particular is an actor and is known for never really “turning it off.”  We talk a lot, and he never really bugged me, until the other day, when I got a little piece of unsolicited advice from him:

Everyone's a Critic...Of Our Profession

Artists. Hippies. Divas. Egomaniacs. Sensitive souls. Flakes.  Seems that to much of the general public, we actors fall in to one of these categories.   The more people I meet the funnier the perceptions of actors I encounter.  But it makes me wonder, am I changing form constantly, igniting these clichés myself?  I certainly don’t feel like the same person from day to day.  I’m constantly changing form to figure out what I need to be, when.  Fake it til you make it, I certainly live by that, and I’ll strut down the street like and walk into a room with an “I’m obviously the best, don’t you want me” attitude when I feel more like an insecure child.

Is This an Audition, or an Escort Service?

I’ve heard the horror stories from different actors about the audition they went to that seemed completely legit, and then turned into something sketchy, bizarre, and forced them to run the other way.  In this industry, you’ve to to be careful because there are plenty of skeezy people hoping to make an easy buck off a naïve artist.  Well, the other day I sat through an “interview” that I wish I could have videotaped.  This was the most ridiculous ‘audition’ I have experienced yet, and nearly died of laugher and exasperation by the end of it.

Back when I lived in the Boston area, I got into some promo modeling and loved it.   What’s not to like?  You get to wear something pretty, stand around for a couple hours, probably make some good connections, and get paid at the end of it.  Well, the other week I saw a casting notice that asked for “Models and Actresses for Promotional Charity Events.”  “Perfect!”  I thought.  I submitted, was contacted, and got set up with appointment for an interview.  I was excited for some new promo work in New York.  Little did I know what was in store for me.  Get ready for a good laugh.

Take a Deep Breath

With the chaos of the holidays over, I was able to take a few days off from work and rehearsals and spend some time in New Hampshire with my family.  They are a wonderful support system for me and I know they love what I’m doing, but I was still anxious to go home and face the questions and topics I knew I would encounter.  What other actors have faced this myriad of topics pounced upon by enthusiastic yet exasperating family and friends:

• Are you looking for representation?
• Why aren’t you more excited for this audition?
• Are you studying your craft?
• Haven’t you joined equity yet?
• When can you get equity?
• Getting equity would make your life so much easier.
• Isn’t there an easy way to get equity?
• equity equity equity equity equity

I know that these questions mean that they are taking an active interest in what I do, but GAH, sometimes I just want to scream, ENOUGH! Let me go a little brain dead while I’m here and watch some Spongebob while I don’t have to think of the five auditions I have to squeeze in before work on Tuesday.

When Shall We Three Meet Again?

Not long after my first New York show closed, I heard from the director of Lucky Duck asking me if I wanted to be the Third Weird Sister in his production of Macbeth.  Amazing how connections really play a huge role in getting work.  I knew that it did, and everyone tells you that’s how to get ahead, but to experience it is something else. 

I feel so great that I have this opportunity.  It tells me a lot of things, first the obvious:

• I get to be in another production!
• I can add a Shakespeare show to my resume
• I have new material to add to my repertoire
• I’m doing what I love

But this new endeavor also tells me a little more:

• I want to be worked with again
• Someone respects my talent and my work ethic
• A positive attitude goes a really long way

Challenge: Motivation

When you don’t work a “normal” job, or one that gives you a set schedule, it’s easy to lose focus and become distracted by lots of little things.  I think one of the biggest challenges for actors is to manage the amount of juggling they have to do: their auditions, rehearsals, a day job, and networking, all while staying motivated and keeping a focus on their main goal.

I see many actors become sidelined by work, difficult situations, and the inundation of new opportunities this city can throw at them.  I’ve definitely learned that being an actor is not just about auditioning and hoping it goes well.  Even booking a job doesn’t mean that much, because several weeks or a month after that call, you’ll be scrambling to find the next thing.  But even having that realization in the back of my head doesn’t prevent me from sometimes getting distracted by other things and setting aside the original plans I had when I first moved to New York.

Show Off

How much ego is too much?  As actors, we’ve got to believe in ourselves and our talent to the point of what some may view as obnoxiousness.   As Tyra Banks always says on ANTM, “If you don’t believe in yourself, who will?”  But sometimes it’s hard to keep this confidence in check because you’re so caught up with staying positive and self assured.  When does it become a turn off?

Lucky Duck

My first New York City show opens so soon!  Opening matinee is this Saturday, and I can’t believe that in the two months since getting here, I’ve gotten cast in a show and it’s already coming right up.

Being in rehearsals has made me so happy, and not to sound corny, but not only do they make me happy, but they make me feel complete as a person.  Being there to witness a story come into its own, and watching the actors grow and make amazing choices is not only inspiring, but makes me feel like, I’m really doing it; that the whole reason I came to New York is actually happening for me.

I'm on The Right Track, Baby

I had one of the best auditions of my life on Saturday.  I try not to get too high or too low after an audition to avoid living my life as a bipolar maniac, but after such great validation, I couldn’t help feeling that I was on the right track and really succeeding in doing what I love.

The first great thing about this audition was that I actually got an appointment.  When I walked in for my time slot the wonderfully engaging director told me he had received over three hundred and fifty submissions.  I was really pleased that out of all those people my headshot and resume had been selected.

Haven't I Seen You Before?

Two nights ago, on set of a new project, I experienced a whole gamut of actor personalities and it was hilarious.  It definitely made the all night shoot go by with some flourish.

As one girl put it, “do you think we’re even on a real set?  I feel like this is some weird social experiment to see what happens when you put actors in a room together all night long.”  As we were there from 8 PM into the early morning of the next day, it was definitely the perfect forum for a bizarre social experiment!

City Living

I’m so excited, no more commuting into New York for auditions any more. I’m finally living here.

The past couple weeks have been an absolute whirlwind and the fact that I am truly living in New York City hadn’t really hit me until about a week into being here.  Waking up in my apartment was great, but it didn’t really feel real.  The point that I finally realized how great living in the city was when I had my first double audition day and a bunch of appointments.  It was the coolest feeling to wake up in my own place instead of a hotel or on a friend’s air mattress, and have the freedom to come and go as I pleased and pack a light bag, not a whole suitcase.

I Got Plenty O' Admiration for Porgy and Bess

Saturday night I had the opportunity to see something really special with my family and we had an incredibly memorable night all together.  We went to see the revival of Porgy and Bess at the American Repertory (Culver Pictures; Chad Batka for New York Times) Theater in Cambridge, starring Audra McDonald and Norm Lewis.

This production is directed by Diane Paulus and will be going to Broadway in October, and has been particularly controversial.  The production became almost notorious before it even opened, due to its rewritten ending, added dialogue and removal of some recitative, and, most notably, the fact that Porgy uses a cane for his cripple, instead of the famous goat-drawn cart.   

One of the biggest opponents of this revival is none other than Stephen Sondheim.  I find it quite ironic that of all people, a composer known for turning musical theatre on its head is suddenly so adamant about Gershwin purity.  To get some background on his response to the New York Times article you can find it here.

Reviving a Show, and Reviving Myself

Two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to revive COLE, a show I performed in Concord, New Hampshire in June.  The show played at the Capital Center for the Arts and was so well received, it was picked up to be performed in Vermont later in the summer.

As I drove up through the beautiful rolling hills, peaking mountains, and running lakes, I felt calm, happy, and invigorated.  Energy burst in me and I felt so proud that ‘my’ show had been embraced not just by a tight knit five person cast, but also by audiences.  As I pulled into the Big Picture Theatre in Waitsfield, Vermont, my heart skipped a beat as a saw COLE: A MUSICAL MEMBER on the marquee.  Billed right under Harry Potter 7…pretty impressive!

So Close to City Living!

I’m officially moving to New York City over Labor Day weekend.  I can’t believe that my dream of living in the city I’ve been bussing back and forth to is finally becoming a reality.

This past weekend I went to the city to celebrate my birthday.  While there, I saw the apartment unit that I will be moving into and could hardly contain my excitement.  I am so happy about not only my new apartment, but about the inconveniences I’m leaving behind.

No more buses. No more schlepping my suitcase to an audition.  No more sweating on the streets on the city as I run to catch the Bolt Bus.  No more sleeping on air mattresses or couches in the apartments of friends, or shelling out hundreds of dollars for hotel rooms.  I have my space.  I have my bathroom with my shampoo.  My decorations.  And walking down Wall Street, I couldn’t believe that this will be my neighborhood.

I Love A Piano (Bar)

What is better than screaming showtunes at the top of your lungs in a room full of people just as crazy about theatre as you?  I adore going to piano bars and being surrounded by people who appreciate the golden age of musicals.  Joining in on “O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A” brings me a smile from ear to ear. 

On Saturday, my friends and I went on our annual P-Town trip, and had a fabulous night singing along at the Crown and Anchor with the ahmaazing Bobby Wetherbee.  At one point, an older man turned to me and said, “How do you know all these songs?  You are way too young to know South Pacific!”  I looked at him in shock; I grew up with these musicals and have the Broadway XM radio station on constantly, it was a no brainer that I knew all these songs!  After chatting with him, he proudly pointed out his wife to me who was swaying to the music and singing Mame.  “That’s my wife.  She loves musicals too. She used to be a dancer!”  It was so cute to see him so proud.

Some may consider piano bars cheesy, or over the top, or that I'm slightly obnoxious to be singing “Do, a Deer, a Female Deer,” loud enough for those at the Von Trapp Lodge to hear.  But I think it’s wonderful that there are havens around the country where it’s acceptable and encouraged to sing the timeless showtunes that inspired so many people.  Plain and simple, it just makes me happy.

--Jacqueline Chambers