Unscripted - A Blog for Actors - Backstage

A Little Spring in January

Yesterday in NYC, it was so warm I was running around most of the day without a coat.  In fact, almost all of the last week has felt more like Spring, than the bleak, snowy sidewalks and freezing temperatures I'm used to experiencing this time of year in the city.  

I also got to experience a little bit of Spring at the beginning of January.  I recently flew back to Nebraska Wesleyan University, where I studied theatre myself, and helped choreograph and stage a production of Spring Awakening.  It was so much fun!!!  I absolutely loved sharing all of my Broadway experiences and getting to revisit an amazing show and one of the best jobs I've ever had!!!  

Your 2012 Color-Coded Poster Board

One day back in middle school in Nebraska, I saw my older sister putting together some sort of color coded poster.  I asked her what she was doing and she explained that she was preparing her New Year's Resolution.  Rather than just make one general hope or goal for the future, she had a very specific goal, or actually several for all of the various aspects of her life.   School, running, nutrition, social life, etc.  

Then she had also made check-lists of the things she would do in order to complete those goals.  I was impressed and intimidated,...and then had to make my very own!  Now, I can't stop. Like many, I blame my habits and compulsive behaviors on my family, in this specific situation, I blame my sister.  There's a certain ongoing guilt associated with a chronic list-making habit, as it is virtually impossible to complete every dream and goal on that huge, stupid, color-coded poster board!!  Waaahhhh!!!  (Like many of you, I spent a lot of time with my family over the holidays and am feeling equally thankful, and annoyed for everything they've passed on to me.)

I Want to Be a Two-Fisted Maker

One night when I was at the Wyndham Hotel in Georgia on location for The Walking Dead, I couldn't sleep (Maybe it was all the scary zombies I encourtered during the day!!!  EEEEeeeeek!!!  I've been having some seriously scary dreams, but that is for another blog post).

Hoping to ease my insomnia, I turned on the TV,...and saw a familiar face: Bill T. Jones.  When I did Spring  Awakening I got to work with Bill T. Jones for just one rehearsal, but I remember it was such a fun and memorable experience, so I was curious to see what he was doing on TV!!  

Still Searching for that Toothbrush.

A couple weeks ago I opened my e-mail and got a very nice note from a site called CD Baby.  

"You're EP Blue Toothbrush is now available for download."  Whoooo hoooo!!  I was so excited.  I emailed former co-workers and friends to tell them the exciting news! I talked to my sister for a hour on the phone and day-dreamed out-loud about what would happen when the internet came upon my little creation, "Blue Toothbrush."  I spent the rest of the evening obsessively checking my sales on CDBaby and looking at Music Page 'likes' on Facebook waiting for the moment when my EP would be caught up in an internet wild-fire- frenzy!!  

Unfortunately, at the end of that first day, five people had bought my cd.  I couldn't sleep.  Five?  Really??  I mean really,...FIVE?!?   I was pretty sure I knew who those five people were too: Mom, Sis, my buddy Adam, and me. (I just wanted to buy it so I knew everything was working on the site,....and ya know, gotta support my own product ,right??)   Okay, so there was one mystery 'Blue Toothbrush' fan my first day of sales.   Thanks for the sale, whoever you are.  

Talking is Hard

Sometimes talking is hard.  Turning thoughts into words and composing sentences all within seconds of someone asking you a question can be much more difficult than people will let on.   And then there are the mechanics of breath and tone and moving your lips to actually form the words.  Talking is complicated.  And it's especially difficult if you tend to get a little socially anxious like me.  

And, it can be nerve-racking when you are on the red carpet for the first time ever in your life talking to reporters about a charachter you are not supposed to tell anyone much about.  

Last weekend I arrived at the Regal Theatre in sunny LA, excited and nervous for my first Hollywood premiere of 'The Walking Dead.'  Luckily, I had one of my bestest friends, Bill, and my television sis, Lauren (Who is such a pro at this kind of thing!) by my side to calm my nerves.  We may have had the driver circle the theatre five or more times before actually getting out.  I may have also had a couple glasses of champagne, a double espresso and a cake pop to also help calm those butterflies.   Did it help??

Secrets Don't Make Friends

I saw this poster when I walked out of the C train today. I was so excited, I took a picture!  I hear the second season of 'The Walking Dead' is going to be awesome.  Okay, wait, I know it's going to be awesome!!!  And I know it's going to be awesome because I'm in it!!!

Racing

Can you believe on an early Sunday morning I dragged my my lazy bum out of bed to dress in pink and run (Er,okay...I walked.)  a 5k??  It's true!!!  In fact for the last month or so I've been making early morning runs and walks a regular thing to get ready for Sunday.  All this preparation was inspired by my super cool roomie: Cambra.  

I met my roommate Cambra on the First National Tour of August: Osage County.  She was the stage manager.  I remember meeting her the first of week of rehearsal and being so impressed by this beautiful, young girl who was able to hold her own with actors and directors twice her age.  She was extremely organized and focused, while also being one of those kinds of people that is able to connect and laugh with just about everyone in the cast and company.  Everyone had a crush on Cambra!  

Early on in the tour, Cambra announced one night after a show that she found out she had breast cancer.  I guess most people would quit their touring job and go home for the treatments, but Cambra said she would try to keep her job on tour and fit in chemotherapy and other various surgeries and treatments in on days off.  "I''m going to lose my hair, I'll probably lose a lot of weight, but I'm going to be here with you guys.  I'm going to try my best to be here."   I can't imagine there are many people out there able to run a Broadway show while also going through chemotherapy, but she did!  I myself got exhausted traveling and keeping up with the show every night...And I was perfectly healthy!  I don't know how she did it!

Bocelli in the Rain.

"So I know you just got into town,..." My roommate greeted me with early yesterday morning,  "But I just got two tickets to the Andrea Bocelli concert in Central Park for tonight...Do you want to go??"

I glanced at my huge suitcase on my bedroom floor, and my to-do list on my desk.  Then, I peeked through the window at the looming rain clouds. 

"Umm.  Yes!!!  Omigod!  Yes, I want to go!!"  (Sometime, it's cool having a very well-connected working, Broadway stage manager as a roommate because you occasionally get the hookup on tickets to awesome events and theatre shows like Andrea Bocelli in Central Park.)  

I've been working on a  top secret tv show (Though it won't be a secret for much longer...!!) down in Georgia, and I've been away from  NYC for quite awhile.  I had plenty to do and needed to catch up with life and work and friends when I arrived back in town yesterday.   However, seeing Andrea Bocelli in Central Park seemed like an event I could not pass up.  So, I turned over my to-do list for the evening and shoved my suitcase close.  Then I began digging through my closets for ponchos and  umbrellas and hats to keep warm during the show.  

Pretend Dating

I recently described my newest boy adventure to my Big Sis over the phone:  "Well, he picked me up in his car and we shared a pizza and a beer.  He told me about his family and growing up in the South.  He told me he loves to see theatre and maybe wants to move to LA someday.  After dinner we headed to the movie theatre and we saw 'Bad Teacher.'  While we waited for the movie to start, we talked about our favorite movies!  We finished the date with frozen yogurt.  I think he really likes me and he's so funny!  Oh, and he refused to let me pay for anything!  It was probably one of the best dates I've been on in awhile."  

I have an exciting announcement Backstage Blogosphere: I think I have a new boyfriend....Okay fine, it's a pretend boyfriend.  Okay, so basically, I have a new co-worker to go along with a new acting gig.  Whoo!!  Hoooo!!

White Hot.

“I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. He taught me that if you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it at full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good. Hot is no good either. White hot and passionate is the only thing to be.”  --Roald Dahl

Does your mom forward you Christian chain letters and put you on 'Quote of the Day' mailing lists?   I am so happy to have a helpful and encouraging family, but  I'm fairly certain I'm going to H-E-double hockey sticks because instead of scrolling to the bottom while thinking of angels and sending on to twenty of my dearest friends, I usually skim twenty-five percent of the contents and quickly delete.  

I swear it was my mom or dad or sister that got me on this 'Quote of the Day' mailing list.  One day I was sick of the pesky automated e-mail crowding my inbox and marked it as spam.

How to Survive a Heatwave

It is so, so hot in NYC.  I feel like I'm melting into a Lemony-gooey pool of coconut water and gummy bears.  It sounds like it could be cute,...but it's not cute at all.  My barista looked at me like I was crazy this morning when I insisted on a hot americano.  Then I felt dizzy after I downed the steaming beverage and stepped into the sun...I walked two blocks and ducked into a corner store to buy and gulp a whole bottle of Smart Water.  

I don't have air-conditioning in my bedroom, so I hope my roommates don't mind that I've set up my new bedroom in the living room.  I also hope they don't mind that my new favorite spot to sit in my new bedroom is the cozy chair directly in front of the air-conditioner.  I'm from Nebraska, which can get as equally hot and steamy, (but without the smelly factor of NYC.), and I know there are only two ways to escape heat like this: the pool and air-conditioning.

So Much to Celebrate!

If you happen to be home early from the fireworks and have Showtime, check out my first appearance as 'Emily' this season on The Big C.  (It's kind of cool I played a character with my same name.  Clearly, I was perfect for the part!!)  

MIA

"Oh, are you going on vacation?   That will be nice."  My voice teacher asked when I explained I wouldn't be in town to have a voice lesson the following week.  

"Ummm....I don't know.  Um, yeah I guess."

"Well, that will be great!  When did you plan a trip?  I guess I didn't remember you had something planned!"

"Oh, I just got the ticket last week....so....I guess it was sort of last minute."

"Oh,...just text me whenever your back and we'll get another lesson scheduled...What are you going to  do while you're in California?  Are you staying with family?  Or friends?

"Ummm....I don't really know exactly where I'm staying yet...or actually really what I'm doing when I get there...."

Then my voice teacher dug a little deeper.  "Is everything okay?"

"Ummm....Oh yeah,  I mean, everything is great!  Ya know, yeah, everything is basically really good.  I can't complain or anything."  As I rambled on about my charmed existence and being excited about summer in New York City, my eyes started to sting, then filled with water, then I felt a few wet, warm droplets slide down my cheek.  I smiled and rambled on, pretending no one could see them.  I finally acknowledged the little tear drop's existence with a swipe of my hand and said, "I guess it's been a bit slow and maybe I just need a break from everything for a bit...I was just feeling like I needed to go somewhere, like I needed to go away."

Be Awake

Do you ever feel like you start to get numb to everything??  Do you start to wander in and out of auditions and around the city with a some sort of protective layer covering you?  It's almost as though you are not awake.  Being in a kind of dream state is a lot easier then feeling nervous and caring.  Maybe it was the rain,...maybe it was my allergy medicine, or maybe I was just tired or down or not sure where to place my energy this week.  But I started to feel a bit numb.  Not even the end of the world could snap me out of it. 

And then I woke up this morning and sure enough, it wasn't the end of the world.  But I did have a strange awareness of the small amount of time we all have when I opened my eyes.  I jumped out of my comfy bed!!  I don't want to sleep through any of it!!!  I want to do only what I want to do, and I want to live it all hard.  Nervous, joy, pain, and love: I don't want to be numb to any of these feelings.  

Gym Time

  "Okay Babe, ready to go to the gym...??"  My roommate asks her boyfriend.  They are hanging out in the kitchen snacking and talking after their long days at work.  I can't help but overhear.  I'm staring at my computer and softly (and badly) playing guitar, but my door is open, and just a few mins ago the conversation had been a bit more communal.  Still, I'm sorta pretending not to listen, while inside there is cheerleader bouncing around.  "Say yes!!  Go to the gym!! Go to the gym!!  Say yes!  It's so good for you!!!"

 "Well, yep suppose it's about that time..."  He answers back.  Chairs scrape the floor, jackets and bags crinkle as they prepare to leave the apartment.  

"Whooo!!! Hooo!!!,"  the cheerleader inside my head screams with delight and does a back flip.  Now, I start to add up minutes in my head..."Hmmm....at least 30 minutes of cardio...and then weights and then travel time and maybe even stopping to pick up some dinner after??"  My other roommate is at work until at least 11pm tonight. 

Ms. Kinney

This weekend I traveled to my home state of Nebraska to teach an acting Master Class!  I've never been an acting teacher before, so I was super nervous!   What kinds of questions would the students ask me?  What if I couldn't answer their questions??  Would I be able to give them any help or new information?? 

I imagined walking into the classroom and having students scoff and whisper.  "Who is this chick??  She's like, fifteen and she's going to tell ME how to act, whatever...."   

I wondered if maybe I should change my image a bit to look more like a teacher.  Maybe I could wear some kind of teacher-ish suit, throw on some glasses, and introduce myself as Ms. Kinney.  But I don't have a suit and changing my image was gonna take a lot of time, so I decided to instead spend my time preparing a little lesson.  

Inked: Expanding my Casting Possibilities

This year on Easter Sunday I did something I have been wanting to do for about 10 years.  I got a tattoo!!  It was pretty intense:  The image was probably the scariest thing you can imagine: skull and cross-bones and demon faces and barbed wire!  I'm sick of people thinking of me as some innocent little girly-girl!!  I'm one tough cookie, so I've decided to change my image.  Painting my nails black just isn't doing it for me anymore.  I guess I could have cut or dyed my hair.  I also thought about investing in some sweet new Hot Topic-ish wardrobe, but neither of those things seemed as permanent or as terrifying......

Okay, okay, I'm totally joking.  I got a tattoo of a heart, and I'm not really trying to change my image.  I just am who I am....and who I am wanted a tattoo of a heart...with a music note!    

The Heart Can Grow

The actor lifestyle can be quite the emotional rollercoaster.  One day you are on top of the world working on a hit TV series, or Broadway show, and the next you're technically unemployed again, depressed and without any kind of structure or focus.  

The only way I've known how to break out of this cycle is to have hobbies.  Maybe your hobby is spending time with friends or your boyfriend, or it's a side job at a really cool coffee shop!  Maybe your hobby is getting outside and going for long bike rides or training for marathons.  I have an actor friend that used to take time off and build boats!! 

I was all set up for an emotional crash this week.  I had a blast on Monday and Tuesday working on a really cool TV show, and then Wednesday I was exhausted, lonely, and without an audition or appointment in sight to help me gain some focus or motivation.  

Blood, Sweat, Tears

Last night I broke a wine glass while unloading the dishwasher.  I swept and vacuumed everywhere and thought I had it all cleaned up.  I was wrong.  I didn't have it all cleaned up, and I realized that today as I was getting ready for my audition.  I was running back and forth between the bathroom and my room practicing audition sides half dressed and putting on makeup.  

Then one skip was extrememly painful.  I squealed and lifted my foot to my face to fine a little piece of glass wedged in my heel.  I pulled it out and then it started to bleed.  It bled more than it hurt.  I sat on the toilet in my bathroom and lifted my leg high above me to help stop the bleeding.  Toilet paper after toilet paper square helped to soak up my foot-blood.   (Gross!!!)

What To Do if Stuck in Milwaukee

This last month I got stuck in Milwaukee for a very long time.  I was headed to Nebraska to see some family and my connecting flight got canceled, so I waited around all day and night until I could hop the next plane to Omaha.  I didn't bring my computer.  

The airport in Milwaukee isn't very big or very exciting.  Unfortunately, I was in one of those state of minds where I couldn't stand still.  I wished I had stayed out the night before, been very sleepy and found a corner to curl up in and make some practical use out of my ridiculously long 9 hour layover.  But no, I was not sleepy.  I was awake and spinning.  The first hour I bought a big bag of Chex Mix and a chai tea and took laps around the airport.  I checked out all the passengers.  I examined all the trashy gossip magazines and thought about buying a t-shirt about cow tipping.  Since my Chex Mix and chai tea cost around a million dollars, I decided I couldn't spend anymore money on a new magazine.  Plus I had time to kill so it made sense to just stand around and read without buying.