What A Difference A Year Makes

A year ago, I packed up everything I could fit in my car and drove across the country to pursue my dream in LA. It was one of the scariest things I've done in my life, leaving a lucrative career as a lawyer to pursue acting full time. The transition has been hard, and like me, is still a work in progress.

After a few months of being here, I was really starting to hate LA…with a passion. On the east coast, no one cares if they’ve heard of you or not; if you’re good, you’ll get your shot. In LA, the only thing people care about is whether they’ve heard of you. If they haven’t, they treat you like a detritus of an unwanted pest.

Anyone who’s lived in LA and tried to “make it” in this business will tell you it’s hard. Very hard. But until you come and experience it for yourself, you won’t fully appreciate how excruciatingly soul-crushing Hollywood can be. It's not something you can convey in words.

I don’t care who you are, after enough days of being scoffed at for having this dream and chasing it, of being told you are worthless and wasting your time, of having people laugh in your face or loudly behind your back, you get discouraged. You question yourself. You question your decision to come here and you start calculating the odds of success and realize they are about as good as a safe voyage to Mars. No one can face that deluge of discouragement unscathed. No one.

I thought about leaving. I have several friends who came out here and left. I know other people who came out here and lost themselves. I wanted to leave to. 

But after months and months of being insulted, ridiculed, dismissed, and laughed at, I got used to it. It stopped bothering me. People kept doing it, but rather than listen and internalize it, I just let it roll off my back now. I still don't know what changed, but something did. A year later, I've had my fill of negativity and resistance from this place. When you’ve had your fill you can either burst, spill over the negativity, or simply say “that’s enough.” 

That’s enough.

After a year of taking LA’s beatings, it doesn’t hurt anymore. I actually love it here. The weather is unbeatable, I have amazing friends, I’m working regularly, I’m seeing progress in my career, and I’m rock climbing! There’s so much to love about LA. And once Hollywood stopped getting to me, I was able to appreciate all there is to enjoy about this city. There’s only one thing missing, but that will take time.

So here I am, with one year in LA under my belt. It’s been rough, too rough to adequately describe. But I’m still here. I’m stronger, more confident, more focused. With the help of my friends and family, I haven’t lost my passion for acting. I’ve grown much and learned more. I’m ready.

This year will be better than last. I can feel it.

 

How have you grown personally and professionally in the last year? Have you been in the meat grinder that is LA? How'd it treat you?

(first photo is my own from my cross country trip last June; second is courtesy of Chris Hawley and is of me doing a back flip into my pool)

-- Gabriel Voss

 

Comments

[Franklin]

"This year will be better than last. I can feel it."

And for all the reasons you embrace, last year was better than the year before.
Nice post and splendid progression.
You've already made it.
Continued good luck.

[Gabriel Voss]

Franklin - Thanks for the comment and the encouragement. Oftentimes its hard to get excited about the future in this industry and you really have to focus on all the positives. Good luck to you as well!

[Alice Higgins]

Wow, what am amazing story! Thats great that you took a risk and succeeded.
I moved to LA from New Hampshire to pursue acting and modeling. I've gotten some lead roles, but I've also used IMDBstarmeter.com to improve my starmeter, something that i highly recommend since it has helped me so much.
Keep up the good work and good luck!

[Gabriel Voss]

Alice - Glad things are going well for you in LA. Continued good luck to you as well and thanks for stopping by!

[Linda Fausnet]

Wow, has it been a year? Amazing! You have accomplished so much and I can't believe how strong you are to endure all that... It's a skill I guess, to let things roll off you... Think I'm still learning that. Good for you for sticking it out. I'm sure you're glad you did!

[Gabriel Voss]

Linda - I know! Seems like a few weeks ago. Not letting things get to me has made a world of difference. Thanks for encouraging me along the way!

[Emily C]

I am a struggling actress on the East Coast, North Carolina actually trying to fulfill her dreams. I am in the beginning stages of making the move to LA but have been struggling to get work on the East Coast. I have an agent but I am never submitted for work, so I do most of the leg-work my-self which I am fine with because this is my passion and my dream. I am in classes and have done a few student films and independent films as well as extra work but just worried that no agent will take me seriously. Any advice or suggestions you might have for me would be greatly appreciated!

[Gabriel Voss]

Emily - I actually started on the East Coast as well (Virginia, DC, Baltimore, Philly, NY) and had the same experience you did - finding work is tough. It's even tougher out here in LA. There are more opportunities here, but there are also hundreds of thousands more actors here jockeying for those roles. The agent dilemma unfortunately never changes. I spoke to a friend of mine the other day who has been in LA for 35 years and has a career anyone would envy and he is currently weighing whether to switch agents because they aren't getting him enough work. Unfortunately it never ends. My advice is to keep doing what you're doing - submit yourself for everything. I would say don't do extra work unless you are getting paid (or helping a friend) because that isn't developing your acting skill and it's taking time away from actual acting work. I am speculating on this next point, but it seems from your description that you're not quite comfortable with your acting career on the East Coast yet. If that's the case, I think a move to LA is not advisable at this time. I would suggest that you shouldn't move here until you've plateaued where you are, gotten as far as you can go, and feel very comfortable and confident in your ability as an actor. LA is a grind house and will do its best to tear you down. Coming here with the utmost confidence in your ability and your value as an actor is critical to enduring that onslaught. I think you should reach out to some of the areas in Virginia and see if you can't get work there. It's a lot of driving and expensive, but on the East Coast (except if you're in NY), you are going to be driving all over creation. When you have grown as an actor as much as you can on the East Coast, then you are ready to move to LA. And you will have to start all over again when you get here.

I don't mean this as discouragement. I believe I owe you an honest answer and I've given it. If you can wade through all this muck and stick with your passion and improve every day, you will succeed. It will take years, but it is possible. Make sure you do things to feed the passion you have so that you are constantly reminded of why you are doing this. Be strong. Be brave. Be true.

Best of luck to you.

[Kara Zhang]

Wow, I absolutely love this post and I loved your post in response to Emily even more. You don't sugarcoat things at all and yet you're not blunt to the point of insulting anyone who has that dream - I really appreciate that. There have been many people who I've encountered who've scoffed at my goal of moving out to LA soon to pursue acting, without giving me a real answer of why they think it's a bad idea, but you just let it all out. Thank you so much for your honest opinion. I'm currently living in Philadelphia, doing as much as I can here (the market's very small) and I'm thinking of moving to NYC next year after I graduate (I'm still in college) because I think there's more to conquer in the NYC market before I plateau. And what you said about plateauing on the East Coast before moving to LA makes a lot of sense to me - I think I'll follow that advice :) Keep working hard - with your attitude, I'm sure good things will keep coming to you! I will follow your blog for sure :)

[Gabriel Voss]

Kara - Thank you for reading and commenting! There is a lot of BS'ing in the industry so the least I can do is be honest :) So many actors who have achieved their dreams have been told they are crazy and been insulted for having it. So many actors who haven't made it face such ridicule daily. I won't add my voice to those discouraging actors from pursuing this profession. I think New York and LA are comparable, so when it comes time for a move, I'd pick one or the other. If you want to be in LA eventually (which is a calculation based on what you want from your career), you should come straight here. Don't go to NY first because LA is all about who you know and time you spend in NY is time you aren't here getting to know people. If NY is where you want to be, then there you should go. The good news about being in Philly is you can get into NY for auditions and shoots. Do that as often as you can. Thanks for the encouragement and you keep pushing on too. Only you can stop you from pursuing this dream :)