Unscripted - A Blog for Actors - Backstage

Taking It Seriously

I got a surprise call yesterday afternoon for a nice TV audition I just finished.  My agent said it was only a few lines, gave me some good advice based on who was casting, and told me to break a leg.  And you better believe that after reading Secret Agent Man's last column, I took that advice.  When I got the sides and breakdown in my email, I realized that while it was just a few lines, there was some heavy emotional weight behind those lines.

I cancelled plans to see Hunger Games last night, and called my temp job to cancel today so I could focus (thank you Josh!).

Tree of Life

Last week I finally was able to watch Terrence Malick's The Tree of Life. From what I'd seen in the trailers for the film and based on what I know of Malick, I expected it to be a visual masterpiece and I was not disappointed. What I didn't expect was how it would make me feel.

When released, the film caused quite a bit of controversy. At the Cannes premiere, it was both booed and cheered but eventually took the Palme d'Or. In its theatrical release, due to post-screening audience outrage, theater staff members began making announcements before screenings that audience members could not get a refund for the ticket price. Outrage was the last thing I felt after watching.

Personal Morality

One of the hardest challenges I’ve had to face recently as an actor is handling how my artistic decisions affect others. 

A few months ago, a fantastic opportunity landed in my lap. I was offered a chance to be in a sketch on a highly rated television program… playing a slightly less than moral character. 

So I checked my internal personal morality meter, to make sure that it was something I was actually comfortable doing. No nudity, no taking the Lord’s name in vain, no saying the c-word, no smoking… I decided I was totally comfortable with it. And because of that, I said yes.

I didn't realize just how controversial that little "yes" would be.

If I Were White, Would I Be More Successful?

The last week has been aflutter with outrage at the racial tension that is still existent in our country, from Trayvon Martin to the racist tweets concerning the African American characters in "The Hunger Games."

I will continue to call out the issues I see in my industry, as they are incredibly blatant and all too familiar.

Being an ethnic actress is not easy. Often I will not even submit myself to an audition if it's not for an African American role, because deep down I fear that I will not even be seen.

Other Foreign Actors in Beijing

Most of my blogs so far have been about me me me me. And that's okay, because there's a lot going on with me... or rather, when element A (me) meets element B (China) there has been some rather explosive chemical reactions.

However, I have run into a brief low work period, and I would like to take the time to talk about some of the other "sea devil" actors in China, their trials and tribulations, what makes them tick. And believe me, they have more than one wild story to tell themselves.

The Internet is for Actors

I woke up to a nice acting-related surprise on my birthday last Thursday: I won a Best Performance award in a new, well-respected online contest, StarCast Auditions. It is always, always nice to get some validation on your skills as an actor.

It was a great way to start my "new year," and completely unexpected. I'm so excited about all of the ways that the internet is starting to allow actors to open doors for themselves. We no longer have to wait for a middle man when it comes to getting some traction... I like feeling like I'm in control of my own destiny.

Webseries Adventures 3: Hitting a Wall

So the webseries has hit a wall. When you ask for feedback on your scripts, you have to prepare yourself for someone saying "it needs to be completely reworked." Sometimes that person is right; sometimes that person isn't. The difficulty is figuring out which it is.

Most of the people who read the scripts like them and had only minor changes. One of the readers, however, suggested that it needed to be totally reworked in order to not confuse the audience. I should point out that both my co-writer and I have a great deal of respect for this person's opinion, so we couldn't just dismiss it out of hand. We decided to try rewriting the series to take into account his suggestion.

Six Producer Sessions and Counting...

I have now had a total of six producer sessions between two sister episodic television shows.

Six and counting. Pinned on a few, not pinned on a few. Some were co-star parts, some guest star, and/or recurring.

Except for the first appointment, I have gone straight to producers each time.

And aside from the last time where I had a minor line stumble and recovery (which is like an Asian F, but whatever...let it go), each time I've felt great about my work; getting laughs and moments where they were least expected.

Booking the room! But not yet...the job.

Now, I know this happens to a lot of actors and I know what they may be thinking, "When are they finally going to cast me? What are they looking for?!"

And it would be easy to get frustrated at this point.

It would be easy to give up, to stop believing in the possibilities and begin to close off.

It would be easy to focus on what is presently not manifesting and become stuck in that pattern of thought.

But would that actually be easier? In the long run?

It's Opening Night

There are few highs more exhilarating than the thrill of an opening night.  I am so excited that I get to open Tripartite Time tonight, a show that I’ve been rehearsing with three other actors for the past month.  The show is quite a challenging and evocative piece, and I’m proud with how far I’ve come as an actress during this process.

Own Your Own Work

I have a confession.  I intentionally misled someone a few weeks ago in order to light a fire under my very own tush.  

(We say "tush" in my house now because there's a two-year old who repeats things.)  

But back to how I'm a dirty liar.  A colleague misunderstood when I said I do some writing, and exclaimed, "Oh, thank God, you WRITE!  You've got to make your own work these days!"  I was actually talking about this blog, not scripts, and I considered correcting him.... but I didn't.

Do's and Don'ts of Begging

This last month has been a huge learning experience.

The #1 lesson learned: show biz people are cool.

And, right after that: There is nothing like getting ready to conquer Hollywood to bring out people's helpful side!

Every person living in LA (or NYC or other major show biz hub) has probably gotten that email from a friend, acquaintance or total stranger at one time or another. The "Hey, I am coming to your fair city to__________ (insert any acting activity). Can you hook me up with ______________ (insert anything from "your agent" to "a place to stay")? And, depending on who is asking and how connected and/or generous you are, you answer either yeah or nay. But you will always be asked!

March Madness

It's only mid-March, but I feel like I've gotten in a month's worth of stuff already. I've been shooting 3-4 days each week this month on a web series, a few comedy shorts, and a feature film. I've been auditioning as usual. My birthday has already come and gone (thank you Don Julio for bringing me back to tequila). I'm in the process of deciding whether to try to change my own spark plugs. And I've had to create a press kit for the feature I just wrapped filming. Oh, and blogging.

This hasn't left me much time to watch the other March Madness - the one that has destroyed most of my friends' brackets when Duke lost to Lehigh. I feel like I need a vacation. I also somehow feel like I haven't been productive enough.

Notes From an Overnight Shoot

Though it's taken me a few days to feel like a person again, I survived my overnight shoot!!!

I received several helpful tips after my last post, which you can read here, and I'd like to share with you what worked for me.  

The Wuxi Experience

I am now back in Wuxi for the 5th time, still dropping by for cameos on this show, even though all my lines have left my larynx many moons ago. I still can't believe I took a train back here just to shoot: 1) a shot of me entering a car, and 2) a shot of me running down a mountain. (And on two different days!) But yes, that is literally all we shot this time around. This crew is so generous! (Really, though!)

The third day I rested for a while, and then decided to look around Wuxi. There was a place called Lingshan scenic area that kept popping up on touristy website radars, so I checked it out. Apparently, there was a teeny little Buddhist temple that has got a few fans in the millionaire bracket, and over the last 20 years or so, they have poured enough money into it to erect a ten story tall bronze effigy of the standing Buddha behind the temple, as well as a multi-million dollar 240-ish degree cinema experience to the right of it. Inside this crazy, museum/cinemaplex, I walked through vatican-style flying buttressed archways with European style vaulted soft-toned paintings of Buddha and his origin story. It was truly surreal and not something you see every day here in the east.

Music for Sense Memory

I once had an acting teacher inform us that using music to prepare for a production was a sign of a novice actor. It had come up in discussion when we were working on sense memory. She pointed out that if you're a trained actor that you shouldn't have to use "tricks" to get yourself to an emotional state for a dramatic scene. However, I don't think it really matters what specifically helps you get to that place. Music is influential and invokes memories for me to use in the scene.

I have a tradition before every single audition. On the drive there, I always play this song:

Being Nice

Being an actor in a smaller market like Portland, Oregon means we all tend to know each other, the agents and casting directors. So when I meet a new actor I am always pleased (and a little surprised!).

This happened earlier this week while at an audition for a non-broadcast training type of project. I was a few minutes early and was just getting ready to go in when a stranger frantically pulled in next to me.

Are You Shadow Free?

The first episode of a new web series I'm starring in was just released.  This would be the one I mentioned previously, for which I spent a few days in a Bushwick basement (among other more scenic locations).  

It's been a while since I've been in front of the camera for a project I didn't also edit and direct, so I had forgotten just how much can happen from when you shoot until when you see the finished product.  That can be good or bad; fortunately, in this case it's quite good.  Things that surprised me:

Marketing For Dummies

I know nothing about marketing. In fact, I shudder away from talking about myself at length. You wanna know what I do? "Well, I'm in the entertainment industry. I act... and sing... no you haven't seen me in anything... I guess I'm a working actress..."

So when the opportunity came up to take a free marketing seminar from the self - proclaimed "Actors Advocate", I jumped at the chance. An hour and a half later, I left feeling so empowered that I must share with you all what I learned!

High Class Problem

I've been working on the ground level of a couple of television pilots (both of which I actually booked because of auditions I got from Back Stage). One of them, High Class Problem, is doing an IndieGoGo project to raise money... and there isn't much time left!

If nothing else, I recommend checking out the video. Why? Because it contains lots of me dancing. And I am a hilariously awesome dancer. Enjoy that, folks.

(By the way, that's me on the right in the photo above.)

Z-List Celebrity

This week, I had two new experiences that made me feel (however briefly) like a celebrity - a Z-list celebrity, but a celebrity nonetheless. The first was having my name mentioned in a Variety article about a romantic comedy I'm working on called It's Not You, It's Me. Headlining the film are Vivica Fox (Kill Bill & Independence Day), Ross McCall (Crash & Band of Brothers), and Joelle Carter (Justified). I play one of Carter's love interests. My awesome web designer was actually the first to notify me about the article. It felt good to be mentioned in one of the two biggest industry publications out there.

The second celebrity-esque thing that happened this week occurred this afternoon as I left my gym. I was walking and checking my phone when I hear someone yell, "Hey!" I don't normally pay much attention to people yelling things like that because it's almost never directed at me and if it is, it's from someone I know. I heard "Hey!" again and looked around to see who was yelling at whom and saw a woman looking at me with recognition in her eyes as she was making her way directly towards me.