Re-Capturing the Joy of Dance
I had a breakthrough! In my last post I mentioned that dance no longer brings me the same joy it used to. Today, for one brief moment, I finally re-captured that joy.
My transition back to dance has been tough so far, and very humbling. I am supposed to be a professional performer, and I look like an amateur. I've felt that dreaded self-consciousness creep in at times, and I've definitely looked like a fool. And after nearly 20 years of training I've had to start at the beginning, almost as if all those years were just a figment of my imagination.
Today I attended a Theater Dance class (at the beginner level) for the first time in who knows how long. As a musical theater actor Theater Dance is like comfort food for my body- or it used to be. And even though the across-the-floors were rudimentary, they gave me an incredible opportunity.
We went across the floor to "You Can't Stop the Beat" from Hairspray. It is impossible to hold back when dancing to that song, isn't it? I'm realizing now that that sense of abandon is what I've been missing in my return to dance. The combination was incredibly simple, but it went perfectly with the sentiment of the music.
As I finished the combination and circled back to the line, I began to tear up. No one could have even known. It was a moment all for me, and I secretly reveled in it. I had finally re-captured, in one instant, that joy that I've only ever felt through art. And when it passed, I was left with a reminder of why getting back to dance is so important to me. I intend to find that feeling again, and soon.