I have been humbled this week, in a good way; actually, in a few good ways. I knew I wanted to use this blogging opportunity to "come out" to my friends and family about returning to acting after my five year break. I dreaded having numerous individual conversations and the inevitable variety of reactions. The thought of having to justify my choices over and over exhausted me. I just wanted to put it out into the social cyber space, include a link to Unscripted, and let the chips fall where they may.
Since I left acting, I have attempted several career options, and all have met with varied reactions. I used to think artistic endeavors were the only things you could profess to doing where people would immediately try to talk you out of it, but people will give you reasons why you also shouldn't be a therapist, teacher, lawyer, real estate agent...you get my drift. So I wasn't in the mood to hear any negativity, or the mocking, "Oh wait everybody, now she's going back to ACTING!" My ego simply couldn't take it.
So instead of the proverbial chips falling, they'd sort of taken wings, and floated. Now I know that's a sappy image, and I'm sure there are some who are critical of my choices, and with good reason, but I can't allow myself to focus on that at the moment. I'm getting myself psyched up for a difficult journey, and that means I have to stay positive. I just had no idea that so much positivity would come at me unsolicited, and that is incredibly humbling. Now I feel that I simply must move forward, and propel myself to the next step, not just for my own goals, but for all of the people who graciously believe in me.
For all those groaning, the Pollyanna portion of the blog ends here.
The commercial class I took on Sunday was an eye opener. I had no idea what to expect. Well, that's not really true. I've taken commercial classes before, so I expected more of the same. Thankfully I learned something new, and brushed up on some things I'd forgotten. I was also able to get up and practice my skills, which was difficult and painful at first, feeling so unbelievably rusty and nervous. I definitely had a moment of, "Oh no, what if this was a horrible idea! What if I've lost anything resembling talent?" I read my commercial copy, and definitely blew it in my mock audition. I was in my head in the worst way, and words were rushing out of my mouth, with zero connection to the choices I'd made.
My critique came back as expected, and I felt momentarily defeated. However, when I got my second opportunity to get up in front of the class, I used my critiques and reminded myself that I'm not brand new at this. I've been here before, and I've booked a couple regional commercials. (I've included proof below, just in case you don't happen to live in Oregon, and missed this one.) This definitely helped me, and I did much better, except for the part where I had to say, "Mmmmmm" to sell the cereal. I hate those moments, but like a lot of things in this business, I'm trying to embrace them.
(Photo by Theo & Juliet)