Unscripted - A Blog for Actors - Backstage

I Want To Be Denzel

Denzel Washington is one of the most gifted actors of our time and brings a force of character to his roles like no one else in Hollywood. He brought to life several now-iconic characters like Private Trip (Glory), Joe Miller (Philadelphia), Detective Alonzo Harris (Judgment Day), Detective Keith Frazier (Inside Man), and Frank Lucas (American Gangster).

He’s the son of a Pentecostal minister, a husband, a father of four, and a devout Christian (which is difficult to manage in any entertainment field). Despite being in Hollywood for decades, the film industry has not destroyed his family, his faith, or his integrity as it has so many others. That’s strength of character to be respected and emulated.

Why DW? Why not Tom Hanks, Matt Damon, or Leonardo DiCaprio? Denzel is eloquent. Tom Hanks is certainly eloquent as is Matt Damon (not sure about DiCaprio only because I haven’t seen a speech or address of his that wasn’t in a movie, though he certainly seems capable). But Denzel is eloquent in a way that not only alludes to an active mind and strong intellect, but where Denzel sets himself apart is that presence of person that commands respect. "Kingly" is the best way I can describe it. Neither Hanks nor Damon have that quality to their eloquence.

Learn Them Lines, Kid

Want to be an elephant onstage? It might help. Most of what people call "skill" in acting is subjective, but there is one simple concrete technique that all stage actors must have to succeed: memorizing lines.

It's usually not even mentioned in the biz. People expect you can do it, or you wouldn't call yourself an actor, now would you?

I don't know how good an actor I am in a lot of ways, what people think of my presence onstage, etc. But I'm pretty proud of  my line learning skills.  

My first big show in college included a four-minute monologue. I had it down in days (incidentally the only thing I've ever done that stopped the show for applause). Another play two years later had me on stage for the whole show and speaking in Russian for half of the script-- prior to casting I knew four words in Russian, and that's counting "Vodka" and "Borscht." I was off-book before all but one other member of the cast, and his lines consisted entirely of the word "tweet."

But I may have bitten off more than I can  chew this time.

Running Toward A Purpose

It has been a long time since I posted a blog.  The reason for my hiatus was not laziness, it wasn't 
that I am tired of writing, or that I haven't had any experiences worth sharing.  The reason was one, horrible, simple thing:  This blog was, to me, a symbol of failure in my career.

I got so frustrated with trying to come up with new things to write about audition after audition when - after 10 months of auditioning and auditioning - they all just seemed the same.  I was embarrassed that after 10 months, I had no new projects to share with the blogosphere, no new plays that I was working on, no first time on a TV set stories to tell.  I didn't want to write a blog just for the sake of writing a blog; I want the things I write to help other actors learn and connect.  The problem was, I didn't feel like an actress anymore.  I felt like a loser.

None of my circumstances  have changed, but my attitude has changed from a part of my journey that I never expected.

Running.

Nervous Breakthrough

   When I first moved to NYC three months ago, I was determined to go to as many EPAs and ECCs that I could fill my plate with. 

   Hardy-har-har. 

   I rather quickly abandonned that game plan. All my friends seemed to have agents getting them appointments, and open calls made me feel really bad about myself. 

   There is this toxic energy to open call waiting rooms. From the moment you step in the room at 8:30am to try and get an EPA spot before lunch, or even in that half-hour before they call the list at an ECC, I felt this wave of negativity enter my universe. As soon I stepped into that room, I was overwhelmed with a sense of lonliness, even when I knew the person sitting right next to me. "What's the point," I'd think to myself, "I'm not going to get cast today. They'll pick someone {insert self-depreciating adjective} than me."

   Everybody is checking out everybody, stacking up their compeition. I can't stand the passive looks, the over-enthusiastic girls greeting their friends in a super-high soprano. Then comes the primping, the double checking of the lipstick, the sitting with your curling iron in the corner, the 100 trips to the bathroom, and finally waiting in your group of ten. 

Just Do It!

I have long been a believer that you make your own luck in this world. Hard work, determination and an 
assured sense of self will take you far. With Oprah ending her reign as the Daytime Talk Show Queen this  week, I am reminded of a quote I heard her say many years ago and it has always stuck with me: “Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.”

Coming from (arguably) one of the most successful women in entertainment, this quote really bares weight. In a world where the idea of luck is instilled in us from the very start: the luck of the draw, lady luck, lucky leprechauns, me lucky charms…what IS luck?  

 Webster defines luck as “a force that brings good fortune or adversity; to prosper or succeed especially through chance or good fortune.” What if we left life entirely to chance? And relied entirely on luck to lead the way. It’s not only an impractical notion, but it’s just simply not viable. 

Reality Bites

So as an actor, would you be on a reality show?

Presumably since it's reality television, you would not be on there for your acting skills, but you would certainly increase your publicity (obviously varies depending on what channel the show airs on and when). Then again, you might be unfairly portrayed as the bad guy/girl. Is it worth it?

Would you do it?

Since the proliferation of reality television in America, pioneered by shows like Cops (1989) and The Real World (1992), word has gotten out that the term “reality” only loosely applies. As described in a 2006 article in Time, the use of "Frankenbiting" (editing unconnected sound bites together to make someone “say” something they never said), replaying footage out of sequence to create a false context, and even planning out whole story lines for shows ahead of time, have all become common and almost expected in reality programming (read other horror stories of reality programming).

Armed with that knowledge, if you were to sign up for a reality television show, there’s a good chance that (ex post facto) you could find out you were misquoted, misrepresented, and more or less set up to serve the interests of the show and garner ratings.

What Happens When You Get Too Popular?

I'm trying to do everything at once. I wanted to be an actor, director, producer, agent and/or screenwriter, but never assumed that more than one of my multiple wishes would be realized at one time.

My acting career is already in full swing. Next month, I will reach a landmark. It will be the point where so many people are looking for me that I will have to start rejecting gigs. This is not because I don't want to do them. It is because I cannot clone myself and do two things at once.

I have also fallen into the role of agent recently. A large movie company here is filming what is being billed as China's first original musical film, and hiring singers from Hong Kong and Russia to cameo in it. They also want a particular English singer to cameo at the end of the film, and asked me to aquire her. I contacted her agent and now I am suddenly thrust into a middle man role. Only can hope all goes well. I could really utilitize these connections in the future!

My script now has a due date of mid-June for my last draft. I am constantly stealing away to small tea and coffee houses when I have a day or two off from my internally exhausting 12 to 15 hour acting gigs. I'm only on page 50, and I still have to translate it into Chinese!

Jerusalem (On Broadway)

Jerusalem.

 Jez Butterworth's play has been on the theatre buzz list recently after having received rave reviews both on the West End and Broadway, not to mention having a stellar cast, including theatre deity Mark Rylance.

I HAD to go.  When I saw $37.50 tickets for a Wednesday matinee through Playbill Club, I had no excuse NOT to.  So I did.  A couple of weeks ago.  And I am still thinking about it.

I had a pretty visceral response to the play - the kind of response that allows me to understand the kind of energy people feel when they describe a deep religious experience (you know, the kind where your hair stands up on the back of your neck and you feel like the world is shifting underneath you and you become temporarily blind while simultaneously seeing more clearly than you ever have before.)  

HOWEVER, I have been having trouble talking about the play in an intelligent/useful way and all of my efforts to try and describe my experience to other people have been more filled with noises that with words.  After having several conversations with friends who also saw the show, it has become clear to me that there is something missing.  

"So, what's your real job?"

The above is a question I get asked a lot. Friends, family, you name it... as soon as you tell people you're an actor they'll ask you this question.

The "right" answer, in their minds, is "umm... I'm a waitress. Right now... you know, to pay the bills." In a way, I think a lot of these people anticipate-- even look forward to-- actors being embarrassed by whatever it is they do to pay the bills.

I'm not embarrassed at all, though. I actually like my day job.

Do I like it as much as I like acting? Nope. Not even close. But I really enjoy the work I do to pay the bills, and I'm quite proud of that.

Typing Myself...For Once

   In a moment of tipsy conversation starting I asked a fellow actress at a bar, "What's my type?"

   "Sexy friend. Bitchy friend. Down-to-earth girl next door. Belter." 

   Cue inner self-perception running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

   I like to sing legit soprano repertoire. My dream roles since I've been 13 have been Christine, Laurey, and more recently, Glinda. I like to wear flowy, pretty dresses. All of my electronic accessories are pink. I'm practically a walking poster for feminine purchasing stereotypes. 

   I do not self-identify as the "sultry" or "sassy" girl. However, when I took a step back, I realized that when I walk into a casting door, when they are looking for a classic looking ingenue, they are going to find just that, a classic ingenue. If they want a blonde, blue eyed, svelte Elle Woods, why would they go with the frizzy, curvy, brunette? 

   I can't fight what my mama gave me. Just because I can sing it, does not mean I will be cast in it. 

Finding An Agent Is Like Finding A Man

I had a great meeting with a well known agent about 3 weeks ago. I sat in his lobby waiting for 20 minutes before he asked me in, only to tell me that our meeting was going to be brief. Alrighty then! As long as we got to chat for a little bit, I didn't mind. 

It felt like I had met my long lost friend. We gossiped, shared stories of mutual actors we knew, he complimented me on the perfume I was wearing, and even paused in the middle of our conversation to say, "You feel like family." I walked out feeling so assured that this could really happen! Just like I always do on first dates!

Never Too Late

One of my favorite things about being on set is the people.

Oh, the people! The other talent. The crew. The extras. All with their own unique story to tell. And, boy, does being on set make people want to talk!

A recent day on set provided the opportunity to chat with an octogenarian. And let me tell ya, this guy had some stories! However, none of them were from the acting trenches. In fact, this was his first speaking role in a film. 

Yep.

At well past the age of 80 this man was embracing the crazy life of being an actor. 

And he was loving every moment!

Here is what I discovered:

 

 

So, now. What are you waiting for? 

Carry on. 

--Mercedes Rose

photo courtesy of Levy Moroshan

 

 

Acting is a job. Get a hobby.

I love acting. And I love actors. But there's been something bothering me about some actors and acting that I have only recently been able to put my finger on.

Here it is: If you ask a policeman what he likes to do when he's not on duty, he might talk about the movies, maybe playing football with some of the guys, or just having a drink with them later. If you ask a lawyer what she likes to do when she's not in the office, she might talk about playing golf or just relaxing with her family. 

I feel like if you ask many actors what they like to do when they're not acting, they look at you like you clearly know nothing about What Acting Is.

Having acting be your main passion is a beautiful thing. Having it be your only passion is frightening. While living and breathing the theater or movies may be what you've dreamed of your whole life, if there is nothing else going on in your life other than your day job, eating, sleeping, and possibly drinking, then something is wrong.

It Takes a Village to Satisfy a Comedian

I have done stand up now a total of three times including my first time ever at the Improv, which I now refer to as the time 'when I got spoiled'.

The second time, was in a vegan cafe in Hollywood called Elderberries, to an audience that totaled 8 people, 3 of which were my friends, 5 of which were the other comedians performing that same night.

The third time (which happened last Wednesday night at The Comedy Store, there was about twenty-five people, eight of which included the host and other comedians.

This is what I have learned, 'It Takes a Village to Satisfy a Comedian'. Seriously.

It is a lot easier to make a room full of 500 people (like that night at the Improv) laugh, than it is to make a handful of 5 people, even if they are your friends, laugh to the level of satisfaction for a 'comedian' that keeps you from wanting to blow your brains out. 

Be Awake

Do you ever feel like you start to get numb to everything??  Do you start to wander in and out of auditions and around the city with a some sort of protective layer covering you?  It's almost as though you are not awake.  Being in a kind of dream state is a lot easier then feeling nervous and caring.  Maybe it was the rain,...maybe it was my allergy medicine, or maybe I was just tired or down or not sure where to place my energy this week.  But I started to feel a bit numb.  Not even the end of the world could snap me out of it. 

And then I woke up this morning and sure enough, it wasn't the end of the world.  But I did have a strange awareness of the small amount of time we all have when I opened my eyes.  I jumped out of my comfy bed!!  I don't want to sleep through any of it!!!  I want to do only what I want to do, and I want to live it all hard.  Nervous, joy, pain, and love: I don't want to be numb to any of these feelings.  

Off The Grid (Part 2)

If you missed Part 1, click here to read.

The first part of my adventures off the grid last week involved being lost in my car. Being "off the grid" took on a whole new meaning that same Saturday. While at the feature film audition, I ran into an actress friend of mine with whom I've worked on several projects and who I see all the time at auditions.

The actress and I were chatting in the waiting room (after being told the auditions were taking about 10 minutes per actor!) and killing time. Somehow we got on the topic of Facebook. Principally, use of Facebook to promote oneself as an actor.

Let me pause here and wax philosophic about "The Facebook" (and if you haven't seen The Social Network do so now!). I resisted joining for the longest time because I didn't want the world to have that kind of access to my personal life; I didn't want to manage the awkwardness of people I'd successfully avoided for years friending me; and I didn't want to have to answer to my family about certain status updates (kidding!...kind of).

Ahem, excuse me…is this thing on?

Being that this is my inaugural post as the newest blogger for Backstage Unscripted, I figured it’s probably best to introduce myself and let you know how it is that I landed on your computer screen.

My name is Tamara Dhia. I am an actress/writer currently living in sunny Los Angeles by way of New York City. Like many of the Backstage readers, I am currently hustling hard to make my dream of becoming a full-time actor come true.

I am in the trenches with you: I self submit (even though I have representation), I go back and forth on who to choose as a headshot photographer and I work my butt off at a job that has nothing to do with my aspirations just so I have money for bills, rent, and acting classes. And I do it all because I have a passion for this industry that is unwavering, and takes more from me than it gives in return, but when it gives back, it’s so rewarding that it makes “the grind” worthwhile. 

Intermission: Mulitasking

It's been a month  since I last check in on here.  My Apologies. Been very busy with juggling two jobs, school studies and making back 2 back trips to NY. I have auditioned for three schools so far and for the umpth time, I finally finally decided to pursue my double major (Acting & Communications) at a school nearby in D.C.  I can be  indecisive at times. This choice was bittersweet but satisfactory in the end. So, I have been ripping and running all over the place. Trying to figure out where to go next and what to learn! Sleep is not an option. (well...not yet)

In between I have been attending many social events in both D.C and NY, tackling on a new character. That character is like no other. Multifaceted. That character is none other than Christine Shepherd, The....? Actress? Writer? Who am I? Student? Multi-tasking is acquired skill to have and I have been flexing that skill intensely especially during these past months.

 

Dazed and Confused

My OCD behavior shows itself most specifically regarding clocks and time. I pride myself on being on-time for everything.

So last week I was a good 15 minutes early to a callback. And it is a very good thing…

I was in a good place – both physically and emotionally. I felt confident in my choices and how I looked. Plus I had a good parking spot. Feeling goooood. Last looks. Check. Deep breath. Check. Headshot and resume. Check. Lock the car. Check. Head towards the concrete steps leading to the casting office. Check. Trip. Crash and burn. Tear a huge hole in my nylons, begin to bleed. Check.

Ugh. I felt light headed and dizzy. A little like I had a hangover. After sitting for a good minute, hoping no one would notice me, I gathered myself up off the cold ground and dragged my sorry self into the ladies room. Looking in the mirror I was horrified. It was worse than I thought. I must have fallen harder then I realized. I had a scrap on my forehead and twigs in my hair. My nose was running and tears were streaming down my face. I was lovely.

OCD kicked in.

10 minutes to my audition time..

Ohhhh, The Smells

Sometimes it feels most of my life is spent riding on the bus, traveling from New Hampshire to Boston, Boston to New York, and back again. I don’t mind it too much… usually it means a nice time to catch up on blogging and other things I had been putting off. However, there is one thing I hate about the bus, and that is stopping at the rest areas.

While I admit, it’s nice to use a toilet that doesn’t threaten to kick you off the seat every time your vehicle hits a pothole, there’s something so awful about these dreaded places, I feel the luxury of a stationary bathroom is outweighed by the disgusting, inevitable outcome of stopping.

The number one reason I loathe stopping at rest stops during bus trips:

The putrid odors now emanating from everyone’s seat! Everyone buys a different meal, and devours it in an enclosed can that traps the odors and forces each passenger to breathe them in! Oh it’s just horrid. I have wafts of cheesy popcorn, french fries, chicken fingers, and pizza floating in one nostril and out the other.

The horror, the horrorrrrrr!

--Jacqueline Chambers