Cracking Under Pressure?
Today I had a callback for a guest spot on a television show. I was sure I was going to book it. I felt great about the material, really confident in myself, and there were only two other girls up for it and I knew I was perfect for the part.
The only problem? I choked in the room.
When I say choked, I don't mean I embarrassed myself or made a fool out of myself. But I certainly didn't perform up to par with what I'd prepared. You know the feeling when you do a "Booking" audition - I know the feeling because I've had those in the first audition LOTS of times. But something must be happening in between the audition and the call-back and I don't know what it is! It's killing me that I can't figure it out.
The reasons for this that I've come up with are the following:
1. The Opportunity Becomes Real - Sometimes when I go in for work I feel that they must be seeing so many girls that there's no way I even have a chance. Maybe that gives me the freedom to work. Maybe once I feel like booking the job is a real possibility, I start questioning if my choices are the best or if I'm even good enough to do it.
2. I Crack Under Pressure - This one seems very unlikely to me. I've always enjoyed working under pressure and actually feel that I perform better under it. That's part of why what's been going on with me has been so baffling. I am willing to entertain the idea that auditioning is a different environment and scenario than I've been exposed to in the past, and so I'm having a different response to it than I'm used to. There are also a few factors to this idea, such as seeing my "competition" in the waiting room and the fact that I haven't booked a job at all yet.
3. Nothing Is Wrong - I'm not blowing these auditions. After all, I've certainly never left thinking that those people would never let me in the room again. I've done done anything that actually embarrasses me in any way. I just haven't performed as well in a few call-backs as I have in the initial audition. Every person has an off day, or a day they're just exhausted from leading the many lives that an actor leads, or just a day of feeling less emotionally connected than usual. Maybe there is nothing to figure out about myself and it's just as simple as that.
What do you guys out in the blogosphere think? Have you experienced anything like this? Are there possible contributing factors I've overlooked? And how does one approach solving this issue?
--Jasmine Anne Osborne