Cracking Under Pressure?

Today I had a callback for a guest spot on a television show.  I was sure I was going to book it.  I felt great about the material, really confident in myself, and there were only two other girls up for it and I knew I was perfect for the part.

The only problem?  I choked in the room. 

When I say choked, I don't mean I embarrassed myself or made a fool out of myself.  But I certainly didn't perform up to par with what I'd prepared.  You know the feeling when you do a "Booking" audition - I know the feeling because I've had those in the first audition LOTS of times.  But something must be happening in between the audition and the call-back and I don't know what it is!  It's killing me that I can't figure it out.

The reasons for this that I've come up with are the following:

1.  The Opportunity Becomes Real - Sometimes when I go in for work I feel that they must be seeing so many girls that there's no way I even have a chance.  Maybe that gives me the freedom to work.  Maybe once I feel like booking the job is a real possibility, I start questioning if my choices are the best or if I'm even good enough to do it.

2. I Crack Under Pressure - This one seems very unlikely to me.  I've always enjoyed working under pressure and actually feel that I perform better under it.  That's part of why what's been going on with me has been so baffling.  I am willing to entertain the idea that auditioning is a different environment and scenario than I've been exposed to in the past, and so I'm having a different response to it than I'm used to.  There are also a few factors to this idea, such as seeing my "competition" in the waiting room and the fact that I haven't booked a job at all yet.

or

3.  Nothing Is Wrong - I'm not blowing these auditions.  After all, I've certainly never left thinking that those people would never let me in the room again.  I've done done anything that actually embarrasses me in any way.  I just haven't performed as well in a few call-backs as I have in the initial audition.  Every person has an off day, or a day they're just exhausted from leading the many lives that an actor leads, or just a day of feeling less emotionally connected than usual.  Maybe there is nothing to figure out about myself and it's just as simple as that.

What do you guys out in the blogosphere think?  Have you experienced anything like this?  Are there possible contributing factors I've overlooked?  And how does one approach solving this issue?

 

--Jasmine Anne Osborne

 

Comments

[Ann Hu]

When your expectation is that high the only thing that would satisfy it is if the creative team told you right then and there, 'You've got the job!" And of course, that rarely ever happens. Sometimes doing it for yourself, as opposed to 'booking the job'...takes the pressure off and is more fun!

[Gabriel Voss]

I was up for a commercial audition once where the actual clients were in the room with the casting director. We chatted briefly before I did my audition and all was going well. Right before I went in the room, I'd found out I was supposed to do a coin flip while delivering the lines. In my first two reads, this new addition threw me so far off that I was just messing it up left and right. At that point the worst thing that could happen happened - the clients told me they WANTED to give me the role, to just put the coin down and do it again. Suddenly it was my gig to lose and I did just that, lost it. It was a good learning experience though. Sometimes things just don't click and that's okay. On to the next one!

[Delilah]

Ann - Your comment made me realize that what I'm used to is other people putting pressure on me. Teachers, agents in the audience of showcase, etc. I'm not used to being the person that I have to answer to. So, maybe what I need to learn is how to deal with self-induced pressure!

Gabriel - Thank you so much for the support and for sharing your story. You totally got it right when you said that "the job was mine to lose". That's exactly how I felt. I'm sorry that you went through that, but it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who's ever done that.

[Ang]

I blame it on John Madden. You know. That little sports announcer that sits on your left shoulder giving the play by play on everything you do in this life? Some call him the “judging mind.“ It’s pointless to try to make him shut up because he’s there for a reason and is just doing his job. The higher the stakes, the more he blathers on ... You just have to find a way to tune him out or, even better, get him working for you lest he come out of the booth and trip you up just for shits and giggles and something to talk about. Hell, I went through a period where I had him leading a panel with guest announcers Harold Guskin, Sandy Meisner and Uta Hagen all sitting there together arguing! :)

I hate to sound like a workshop shill, but it sounds to me like you could use one. You’ve been out of school for just shy of a year, right? It might be time if you can scrape up a little cash. I have a couple of friends who were in the same boat as you. Conservatory trained, talented as all get out, great looks and always deep into callbacks, but they just couldn’t seem to close the deal and book. A weekend with Josh Pais finally put them over the top. I haven’t personally taken his class and can’t speak to exactly what this “committed impulse” thing he teaches is, but it’s apparently good medicine. I don’t know who else to recommend unless you can catch Margie Haber when she comes to town.

Hope this helps!