MegaBus = Mega-Headache
Over St. Patrick’s Day, New York was CRAZY. I had a lot of auditions that week, and upon coming to the city I couldn’t understand why all the buses and hotels were booked. I’ve never been a huge celebrator of the green holiday, so once I realized that it was St. Patrick’s Day I was stunned to see how seriously people take the holiday in the city (i.e. ridiculously drunken crowds in a sea of green with blow horns). That Thursday nights was so crazy I couldn’t even get a cab…it was like New Year’s Eve!
Anyway, that week I had ended up extending my stay in New York because I got a call back for the tour of Young Frankenstein, whoo! That also meant switching around my bus schedules, and I was horrified to find that the Bolt Bus was completely booked and my sole option was the MegaBus. I had heard plenty of horror stories from friends about this double-decker bus, but it was my only option and I figured…how bad could it really be? Well, I was about to find out…
After waiting and waiting and making friends with the people surrounding me, the line finally moved at 1. As we approached the front where the buses were parked, a man was directing people-
“12:10 to Boston blue bus. 12:40 to Boston red bus.”
He looked at me and said, “What time are you on?”
“Uhhhhh 12:10.” I said. I felt guilty, but I figured it was worth it to get to the bus and then ask to ride standby. The girl was taking tickets at the bus door, so I thought some female bonding may be in the cards to get me on the bus. I was wrong.
“May I please ride standby?” I asked.
“When is your ticket? 1:10?” she said.
“Umm no. It’s actually 3:40.”
“3:40?! Oh my lord, stay there, you have a while to wait. Girl what are you thinking?”
“I was just really early but I wanted to try to my luck. Don’t worry if it’s full!” I tried to politely reply.
Well, after everyone had boarded, there were indeed a couple free seats! She turned to me and said, if you give me $5, you can get on the bus. I would’ve given her a twenty, but idiot me had NO CASH. I spent it all that morning and figured I wouldn’t need any fore the bus ride. Go figure. I told her that and she gave me the dirtiest look. After a while, she must have gotten exasperated seeing me stare at her like a lost puppy and finally said, “Oh my god, just get on the bus.” I tried to give my bag to the guy loading up the bus, but he was very suspicious of me. “What time are you?” he barked.
“I have a 3:40 bus ticket but she said I could ride!!!” I whined, pointing at the girl.
“3:40. Uh uh.” He shook his head disapprovingly.
“No she said I could! Ask her!”
“Keisha!” he screamed. “She’s 3:40.”
“I know.” Keisha replied. “Just put her on the damn bus!”
Anxiety ridden and getting a stomach ache, I ran on the bus and slunk into a seat. In all the confusion, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I got on the wrong bus, so I asked the girl next to me if they were going to Boston, just to double check. There was continued screaming outside, and at one point, they almost kicked a girl off the bus because they thought she snuck on somehow. I tried to hide, afraid that I may have a similar fate. Finally, we were ready to pull out, and just as the bus was put in drive, SMACK. Another Megabus hit our side view mirror. The driver screamed, “What the F---. Oh my god, this is the worst day ever!” After the demon bus was directed out, we drove three blocks, pulled over, and all had to fill out accident reports. I couldn’t believe it…never would I have thought that the Megabus could wreak this much havoc.
Amidst grumbles and frustration among the passengers, everyone filled out their reports and handed them back to the driver. We were finally on the way back to Boston, and I employed my new meditation practice to avoid turning into a frazzled rider like so many others. I guess now I know, the Megabus is as horrific as many of my friends have warned me, and on holidays, I’m making sure to book my Bolt ticket way in advance.