Parking Madness (I love giving the city of L.A my money)
I arrive to my audition 45 minutes early. I drive around the block and find a parking spot next to my best friend: The parking meter. Parking meters actually speak to me, they tell me things like: "You'll never be able to find another parking space like this one." "Hurry!! You don't have much time!" "Wait! Wait! Before you leave you have to put in some change, you don't want Jester to get ya." (Jester is the parking police)
I'm at my audition 30 minutes early. I drive around for 10 minutes looking for parking. The parking meter yells: "Here!! Over here!!" I look across the street and see an open spot. Yes!! I think to myself. I haul ass around the block and get the space. I get out of my car, make sure I have my sides, my phone, my wallet and proceed to leave. Parking meter yells again: "Hey where are you going?!!? I need my snack!!" I laugh, thinking to myself: "Oh yeah huh?" I pat myself down like a police officer does a convict. I have no change. I look over at the parking meter. He stands there with his head tilted to the left. A look that says: "Well???" I look across the street and see a convenience store. I hustle over there, by-passing the red hand on the traffic light, dodge a car like I'm in the video game Frogger and run into the store. I grab some chips and take a look at the line. The cashier looks like he just woke up from a hangover, took 3 shots of Nyquil (instead of an energy drink) and came to work. My hand is tapping on my thigh, my foot is tapping on the ground, I stare at the ceiling. It felt like 3 decades have gone by. "Can I help you?" says the sluggish cashier. "Yeah, just these chips and can I get a dollar in quarters as well?" The transaction takes 15 years. My hair is gray and my skin is wrinkled by the time I leave. I run out of the store the same way I bolted in. There's a big slip on my windshield. You know what it is. I open it. The fine is $65.00. "Aggggggggrrrrrrr!! Parking Gods watch over me!!!!!!"
I run to my audition.