Negative Feedback Sucks!

It’s officially fall when you wake up with a sore throat, stuffy nose, and crusties in your eyes (TMI?) Last year during this time is when I had a lot of work come my way. I’m hoping it’s the same way this year!

So I’ve had some negative backlash about my part in the music video I previously posted. If you haven’t watched it, it’s a political satire video about women who desire to be political wives so that they can have their husbands cheat on them, go on Oprah, write a book about it, etc.

A close family friend was disturbed by it all. He didn’t think it was funny. He was disappointed that during my scene, I was dressed sexily and had an image of Abe Lincoln as a censor for my “parts.”

I wanted to say “Of course we had Abe Lincoln in between my legs, we knew exactly what we were doing! It's Abe Lincoln between a black woman’s legs!” But I could not say that because this man is such a close family friend, a successful actor and singer in is own right, and someone who’s opinion I value.

I began to feel really self-conscious about all the comments I was getting pertaining to my scene. People love it. I think it’s funny. (Watch it below if you haven't seen it!)  

But is it funny at the expense of myself? Should I question the intent of my group, as my family friend suggests?

I realize that as a black woman, I have so many factors I have to think about as a performer – issues of race and gender make things so complicated. The history of African Americans make it so that I have to constantly evaluate what roles I’m choosing.

Anyone else ever feel this way?

-- Dominique

Comments

[Meadow]

Hi Dominique:

First of all, I watched your video before commenting.

Secondly, not everybody is always going to like what you do. There will always be somebody who will ask you why you felt it was a responsible choice to, for example, take a McD's commercial when you yourself are a super-healthy eater. You could find yourself wound up into ridiculous knots trying to consider the sexual / political / racial / socio-economic implications of every job.

Not that these are not good questions to ask yourself! But if you think your projects through thoughtfully, and feel satisfied and comfortable with them, then that is what counts.

After all, it's your life and your artistry, and who really wants to take what she has to say about ANY topic and end up with "two tight paragraphs about kittens that your grandma would love", as they say in the musical [title of show]?

Best,
Meadow

[Brandi Ford]

I agree with Meadow. I saw the video first here and then on a fantastic blog I read daily called The Black Snob. As a fellow Unscripted blogger I was actually proud to see your video featured on there! It's comedic and thought provoking at the same time and it showcases your troupe as one to watch! However, I can definitely relate to having some of my artistic choices questioned by close family before BUT if it's something I've thought about prior to participating in the production then it's something I can stand by afterwards. And that's what I think you should do. Everyone won't always agree with your choices Dominique but as long as YOU can live with them, that's what matters.

[the goon]

I really like reading this post and I am very happy that you posted it on this blog...

[Dominique A. Toney]

Thanks Meadow and Brandi. I totally agree. A job is a job is a paycheck! Although, we are not getting paid to do what we do and we write all our own material, so it's a little different. But I definitely didnt do anything i didn't want to do. It just hurts when someone doesnt like the work you did, ya know?

And thank you "Goon." I'm glad I posted the blog as well!

[Jill]

Personally, I think that video is hilarious.