I quit my job!
Anyone who has been reading my posts here for the past few months knows all about my frustrations with my day job, how unhappy it made me and how I was finding it very hard to ever go on any auditions or make time for anything I actually wanted to be doing.
Well, it's done. I quit. Scary? Yes! Thrilling? Even more so! Stupid? Maybe! What's next? Who knows!
It hit me last week that I chose to study acting for a reason, and there is a reason I am not satisfied by just making money. Yes, I would like to eat and have a place to live, but there is little thrill for me in the pursuit of monetary wealth. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't decide to go to law school, or study international relations (both of which I considered for more than just a moment or two) and why I don't just flee this wobbly world of auditions and parts that don't pay and shows that may never have an audience. But it's sort of like thinking about running away from home. Ultimately, acting is where my heart is right now, and I have to respect that.
SO I am cutting myself loose and giving myself the opportunity to go for broke and try to make it work. Worst case scenario, I give it everything I have and nothing comes of it. Okay, I'll re-group and re-evaluate and figure it out. But if I never try, I'll never know.
Of course I am still applying for jobs that will pay my bills, but I am also holding up the possibility that I might actually get paid for something that I enjoy doing.
When I called my parents to tell them I had quit, my father answered the phone and burst into celebratory hoots and hollers as soon as the words came out of my mouth. I can't thank him enough for that glorious reaction. He also gave me a dollar and told me he would give me one for every job I quit. My dollar is now in a frame, my prize for putting my own happiness first.
It's funny. George Washington looks sort of sad and insignificant behind the glass panel. I think he wishes he was more than just a tattered piece of paper.