Applause For My Birthday
For the past 3 years, I haven't gone out on my birthday. I haven't gotten drinks, I haven't thrown a party, or really done anything more than get fajitas at my favorite restaurant with my parents. The reason? I'd been too busy celebrating it in a dark room with a few hundred strangers.
Call me the ultimate theater nerd (go ahead, do it!), but even on my 21st birthday, I opted for staying in, because the next day was the opening of our senior musical. On my 21st birthday, I much preferred staying in and finishing up my homework instead of going out and drinking myself into oblivion because it meant I was sacrificing something for my intense love of the stage. Because it meant I would be better for all those anonymous people who came to the theater for an emotional experience, and I wasn't about to be hung-over.
The next two birthdays posed similar conflicts of celebratory interest; on my 22nd birthday I had an 8:45am call the next morning, and on my 23rd birthday, the day after my birthday marked the first travel day of a national tour.
I have come to the point where I almost expect my birthday to fall on some sort of performance, and where I've happily come to terms with sacrificing friends and celebrations in exchange for the best birthday gift of all - a round of applause. Something about the curtain-call refrain, and how they adjust those footlights, in combination of the applause feels like the biggest, warmest hug. The best chorus of happy-birthday a girl could hear.
This year there will be no birthday-applause for me, and it is really bumming me out. The funniest thing about it, is that most of my friends are busy doing shows this time of year, and are unavailable to celebrate with me. Someone want to send me a laugh track instead?
(picture is my own)