Good Tears and Good Crazy
I have a very lovely wonderful actress friend who cries. She's a crier. She cries when happy, sad, nervous, unsettled, angry, frustrated or ticklish (I'm guessing on the last one). She cries in bars, at home, at work, or on the street. I wish I was more like her. After School at Steppenwolf really got me to bring down some of my natural guards so I could be more open on stage, I find myself more willing to let emotion affect my everyday life. But my friend is so open to everything that every day IS emotion. And I've seen what it does to her on stage. It's like the world she is in is amplified. You can see every moment in a performance because it truly and naturally changes her. She's open to everything.
I long ago accepted the fact that this business is for crazy people. It just is. I'm crazy, you're probably crazy, we're nuts, it's fine. The trick to it though, its encouraging the parts of the crazy that don't cut you off to normal social interaction. The parts of the crazy that make you a better actor (and in my friend's case) a better person. The other trick is knowing how to take that crazy that gets in your way, that tells you you're terrible and alienates people, the crazy that needs constant attention and stops you from getting to where you need to be, to take it and kill it. That's what I'm working on. Having my crazy, and having a great life too.