Nuthin' You Can Do But Laugh

Every year I have at least one audition with an actor that is so random and so bizarre that there's really nothing I can do but laugh, throw the audition out the window and then share.  And I always feel kinda bad for sharing because maybe the actor meant well and didn't know any better, but then I also feel bad that my time was wasted.  So...

We all hear stories of actors doing "crazy things," right?  And since I rarely witness these unprofessional antics and because I love actors, I assume that the stories are lore and mostly untrue.  But just last week a commercial agent I follow on Twitter tweeted two different real-life scenarios that made my mouth drop to the floor.  Here's a taste of what he writes on a daily basis about some of his clients:

"Will 2 Fail: "Hey I just woke up in Vegas. I'm not gonna make my callback for Payless." Hey we just woke up and found your drop letter."

"Will 2 Fail: Pouring rain. You know what that means. Excuses from actors POURING in about why they can't make auditions. They may melt." 

OMG!  Seriously?  Who are these actors?  And why do I have super talented friends that can't get agents and these yahoos do?

Anyway, back to my story.  Thanks to my audition partner today, I got up close and personal with the magic of Post-Its!

I knew I was in trouble when my scene partner didn't care to read the scene with me at any point during our 30 minute wait, but had no problem directing me to allow serveral pauses in the dialogue for his planned emotional moments and the miming of various object.  He then suggested I get angry here and sad there in order for him to be able to deliver his lines the way he had practiced.  Oh, boy...

But fine.  Hey.  People are strange and you do what you can to make the best of a less than ideal situation.  In this case, I tried the "I need to move my car" tactic.  And it wasn't really a lie.  Street cleaning was beginning momentarily and I didn't need a ticket.  But I was also hoping that my scene partner would be in a hurry and I'd come back to a brand new partner and a new lease on the audition.

No such luck.  The scene started with my partner on a treadmill.  I gave him a few "moments" to get into his running and then entered the scene.  My partner interrupted the scene and asked if I could start over and "mime turning the treadmill off or something so that he had a reason to stop running and say his lines."  Friends, I mimed turning off a treadmill from that point forward.  Why?  I don't know.

But that's not the worst!  My partner literally took five minutes to analyze his off-camera points of reference and then proceeded to stick yellow Post-Its on lighting equipment and two different walls, hobbling over the director in the process, so that his focal points would be clear.  Is somebody teaching this oddball move in a bad acting class?  What a strange, strange audition.

Nothing I can do but laugh.  And then, briefly, wonder what the heck I'm doing with my life.

--Stacey Jackson

Comments

[Justine]

He sounds so bizarre!!

On a related note, though: do you ever feel like you don't really want to pre-read with your scene partner (while you're in the waiting area) because you're worried that then when you do it for real in the room in front of the CDs, it won't be fresh + organic? Sometimes I worry about this.

[stacey jackson]

Hmmm...that's a good question, Justine. I think it probably depends on the actor. If I'm meeting a person for the first time and/or doing a scene for the first time, I find that I'm most comfortable if we read thru the scene together at least once to ease nerves and get a feel for each other. However, I think the surprises always come with the adrenaline in the room. I don't need to practice the scene "full on" with the person--perhaps that's where the organic factor bubbles up--but it's nice to connect on some level before entering the room. Just my opinion. Everybody is different.

[Gabby]

May he trip and fall on his next invisible treadmill.

~Gabby

[Stacey Jackson]

Thanks, Gabby. And OMG! What a cute blog you have. Why have I never seen it before? Love it!

[delfina]

Phew! What a psycho is all I can say. Umm listen guy, what makes you think that you can order around a talented girl who is there to audition...not there to help you carry out your crazy antics?! So, how horrified were the looks on the faces of the casting ppl?

[Justine]

Thanks Stacey, for your thoughts on the whole reading with the scene partner while in the waiting room/lobby thing. Good to get your opinion on it!! Yeah what you said makes good sense. :)

[Dawn]

Hilarious! I get a little evil in those situations and do everything I can to suprise the other actor and knock them into maybe one moment of truth. Hey, somebody's got to do it. ;)

[Stacey Jackson]

Hahaha Dawn, I never thought of that!