Pissed Off, Or: Wisdom Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

As my light continues to fade here... I wanted to take one of my last (for now) opportunities to speak in a public forum to share an important message with all my sisters out there... all the wonderful women of the world.  And that is: Please sit your ass down when you pee in a public restroom.  For the love of god.  It's people like you who spray all over the seat and make a mess.  (You will not get sick and die from a toilet seat, I promise.)  And what's worse is you are also urinating all over yourself and your clothes.  That's just nasty.  I have seen it.  I have even had someone else's spray splatter my foot from the stall next door.  SIT.  DOWN.  Have some class.

And now, with that delicate matter out of the way... I was just reminded last night of one of my favorite theatre stories of all time...

Years ago a playwright friend "Max", whose girlfriend (also a friend and former director of mine) had been cheating on him with an actor she was directing in her latest show, decided to take a stand... on the middle of their stage - uninvited - during one of the performances of said show.

This is a totally insane idea.  So nutty it would probably only be found on some unrealistic high-drama soap like 90210.  But it really did happen.  In the middle of a performance of Waiting For Godot, my poor, upset pal injected himself and his confusion into the middle of an existential drama to wax verbose (and at great length, I was told) about his love's betrayal. 

How meta.  How almost oddly fitting.

I didn't get to see this happen, but I heard about it.  OHHHHH how I heard about it - from every side.  The people who ran the production company threatened to sue Max for ruining their show.  My other friend "Don" (who was a lucky audience member for this performance) said that was stupid because no one knew it wasn't intended except for him, and the only way he could tell that was because Max's blocking was bad and uncharacteristic of our friend the director.  Yet another acquaintance felt bad for the girlfriend because she was frightened by the incident - which is understandable. 

Every time this tale gets retold among our circle of friends, I can't help but giggle on the inside.  YES, I can totally see how the producers would be angry and the girlfriend would be frightened - and those are not funny things - but it's just so crazy!  Who does something like that?  I LOVE IT.  I hope some writer for Degrassi Junior High puts it in their next script (Please, please??? Also, can you cast me for an episode or two?  I do love the show - honestly.  Even the "new" generation).

Anyway - true story.  You have to love live theatre.

--Susan Atwood

Comments

[ANONYMOUS]

What do you mean by "As my light continues to fade here..." Are you discontinuing your blog? You can't- you are one of my fave bloggers!!

[susan]

It's true. This month is my last here. I have 1 more post planned (maybe 2). I hadn't anticipated this - I'm actually a little misty. I've been here for quite a while and so it's time to move on. But your note means so much. I appreciate your readership and support more than I can say. Thank you. I don't know just yet if I will continue blogging on my own website... but either way I will miss writing for this one.

[Justine]

Hi Susan - I too was confused by your note about the light fading. Sorry to hear that you won't be blogging here much longer. Hope you do continue to blog on your website or elsewhere. Keep us posted!

[anon]

a couple of years ago, i was a member of a theatre company in the village. and one of the tech guys, very nice, but very odd guy, was telling another member and I about how he lost his mother. she died from some kind of cyst that had developed on her posterior. and well, wouldn't you know it, she developed the cyst from using a toilet. i...kid...you.......not.

now, i won't go into the detail that i was told about the toilet in question, and trust me when I say, it is extremely SAFE to assume that the restrooms you're referring to are not in the same condition as the one this person was using HOWEVER a retraction might be in order from your above statement!

by the way, i've been reading your blog for awhile and i'm sad to hear you'll be discontinuing it. you're a great writer. best of luck in your career and life!

[susan]

Thank you for reading and for the compliments.

Your anecdote is interesting... but (ha), well... germs and viruses and bacteria need to go beyond the surface of the skin in order to survive... they need warmth and moisture. So she either had an open wound come in contact or she ingested the virus/germ. But then... how would she be sure that's where she got it? Anyway. Yes - always wash your hands after using a restroom, but in the grand scheme of things, there is more and worse bacteria found elsewhere. http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Health/Story?id=1213831&page=1