Audition Voodoo

So 1.5 years into "The Game" as one of my friends likes to call it, I have noticed that I have some weird little audition quirks that have worked their way into my seemingly normal life. I like to pride myself on not being a typical "theatre person." I don't believe in hoodoo and voodoo, I just hope to go in and do good work. Or so I thought.

Once the idea for this blog came to me, I started paying attention to my process of preparing for an upcoming audition. And... I think I might be nuts. 

So first, I read the play. Great. Read the play. 

Then, I Sparksnotes the play if I can. Okay, I want to get some critical analysis. Understandable. 

Then, I do some Google research. Where has the play been done? What times has it been done in? What resonance does it have with the audience, how do people react to the character I am going in for? What mistakes or great choices have previous actors made in the role? This takes quite a while. 

Then, I read the sides. What part of the play are these sides from? What is the purpose of this scene in the play? How do the events of this scene effect the character? What does the scene say about the character?

I tell no one about bigger auditions. I don't talk about them. If someone asks, I say I don't want to talk about it. Okay, a little superstitious, I guess, but still within the limits of reason. 

Then (finally) I memorize the scene. This, I believe, is the height of my crazy. So I highlight. Break it down into beats. Then I start to MUMBLE! I HAD NO IDEA I MUMBLED! I'll be sitting on the train, or the bus, in broad daylight, mumbling lines to myself! In rote memorization like a robot!

(Ill never judge a crazy homeless person again. They're probably just an actor)

THEN, to make sure I am memorized, I will write out all my lines. I do this with everything I need to memorize, I think it stems from when my mother used to have me copy the bible as punishment when I was younger. If years later I can still quote scripture, I know repetitive writing will make anything stick. 

So not only do I mumble. But I walk around with a notebook full of tiny tiny repetitive scribblings. Totally. nuts. 

Okay. Now we've made it to night before. I feel sufficiently prepared. I lay out all my clothes and head shots for the next day. I stamp and address a thank you postcard so it's ready.  Like a soccer mom, preparing her children. Then I take a Tylenol PM and get a full 7 that the dead couldn't wake me from. 

In the morning. I do yoga. I am a walking stereotype. Yoga. I do vocal warm-ups so my voice resonates nicely. (My next door neighbor has to think Im some sort of mental patient). Then, for the rest of the day I CONTINUE MUMBLING!!!!! I have to learn how to control that. 

Okay, Audition comes and goes. I don't like to show up more than ten minutes before because I get nervous. If I arrive early enough to have to wait more than ten minutes, but close enough to discourage a trip to a coffee shop-- please don't judge me for this-- I will walk around the block (mumbling) until I deem it an appropriate time to go in. Yes, I wander aimlessly talking to myself. Taking loops around the block. Sigh. 

Once the audition is over--I think (I hope) I'm a little more well adjusted. I give myself ten minutes to rehash; you know, "I wish I had..." "Why did the reader suck?" "I think I did..."  

I write out the previously prepared thank you note, talking about something that happened in the room, thanking all the people who were there (even the shitty reader), and I mail it. 

Then I push it out of my brain until I hear yes or no. 

I mean, dwelling on it after the fact would just be nuts. 

--Sharina Martin

Comments

[Kindred Spirits =)]

Oh my god, Sharina! I'm a mumbler too. I like to go to the coffee shop sit down with my laptop and mumble out my lines and type them as I'm saying them...people look at me like I'm absolutely NUTTY but it really works for me. Of course, there's the occasional person who will ask me if 'I'm ok' and I just have to tell them I'm an actor so they don't panic! Keep on keepin' on girl-if it works it works!

[Sharina Martin]

haha, yes! We will mumble together! They may lock us up but they will never keep us down!