Sticky Stucky Sucky
Every once in a while I get stuck, my creative wheels have spun enough, or not enough grease has been applied to keep it all moving. Then, some thing happens... You meet someone, see something, or hear something that sparks something... You hear from an old friend that fires up the engine again, a mentor that meant a lot to you years ago... Or maybe even, you hear something someone told someone, that they heard from a friend's friend, that is someone you'll never ever meet, that lives in another part of the world... "That guy is so funny, I love him. I hope he continues doing those videos."
There's a thousand billion ways to get kick started up again, and well, if you haven't guessed yet, yesterday, I got unstuck...
A little. Not a lot. Just a little.
I jumped back in my closet, and recorded a few bits for another semi-complicated project, that will take weeks to complete due to schedules of other people... An upcoming Closet Singer (#20). However, while recording those bits, an idea hit me, and I had a little inspiration for yet another Closet Singer... #18. It was simple. But given the lyrics are so awesome, I didn't want to make fun of the song... And I really liked the "concept."
I think what happened, why I got stuck this time, is that my last few self projects have been pretty ambitious... Taking a lot of time and energy... And quite honestly not yielding the staggering numbers I had hoped for on the good old YouTube. And actually, the one that took the most time, and the most effort is stalled, waiting to be loaded on a computer, to be edited by someone else.
Add to that, the last feature script I wrote, one I'm very proud of... That flew like a bat out of hell from my finger tips, from skeleton draft to first draft worthy of being read by people out in the showbiz world... Well, that's gone from a million miles an hour to about 2.5 mph. And not that that's anything different than usual... but, stagnation takes it's toll on my creative mind.
It is so easy to become discouraged in this business, in this town... While watering roses bushes the other day, a thought hit me... "I think I'm done writing." It came from nowhere, out of the splashing water sounds hitting the soft dirt my neighbor so delicately placed around the roots... "I think I'm done writing."
I don't know if it's true or not... I can tell you it's much easier to order a pizza, and rent DVDs of various Television shows, then it is to start a new concept... To type... To create something original... To print... To show people... To wait for people to get back to you... It's a hell of a lot simpler to surf the web then it is to come up with concepts for songs, rehearse, record, edit, mix and post them on line.
You get it... You probably have your own questions of "is this really worth it?" Maybe you're in a show you've rehearsed for eight weeks, and your six week run isn't even half over, and yet the cast out numbers the people in the seats... Maybe you drive from audition to audition, spending $4.00 a gallon on gas, and you're still waiting for that first booking... And you wonder... "Would I be better off playing the lottery?"
I started looking at alternative places to live again... Different states. Smaller markets. For a down payment on a house here, I could out right buy a house in other markets. For what I pay in rent I could buy a sweet home... For what I'd spend here for a one bedroom, one bath, I could buy an estate in some places. All searching for, "what would make me happier?"
My good friend, and a favorite collaborator, and I talked about it...
"What would make you happy?" he asked... "If you had a million dollars in the bank, and didn't have to work ever again, where would you live?"
My answer surprised me, and him... "Where ever I could work the most."
I realized, it's not about the money... It's not about the location... It really is about the work. That's why I'm in Los Angeles... Not that I didn't know that. Actually, when people in the past have asked me where I live... I often say "Los Angeles, because I work there..."
Working in this field makes me really happy... And the thing about doing my own projects... And not making a dime... If I feel people are watching them, and suggesting them to others... That makes me happy as well. And to be more specific, it's working on projects where I can be creative, and where they're appreciated by an audience... National, local, or Internet-ational...
My friend suggested I find ways to make it more comfortable to live here, that maybe I look for a bigger apartment... Or finally move out to a place I can have a dog... Or move towards the beach... Or take the plunge and buy a house...Maybe something to mix it up.
"Since you know you want to be where the work is... And New York and LA are the two biggest markets... Figure out a way to make it more comfortable for you... And earn more if you need to do that..."
Spend more. Make more. Live more. Smile more.
I hope I'm not done writing... That would make me very sad. Who knows, maybe tomorrow, a phone call looking for a script. Maybe tomorrow, an idea hits me like a ton of bricks.
-- Quiche ~ Tom Kiesche
I honestly don't know who took the picture above, but also pictured, Jim Nieb, on the stage of Sacred Fools.