Omigosh, this next month is one big wedding and bachelorette party flurry (No, not mine yet Mother) and my focus has been entirely on my friends--saving one from a stalker camping out in front of her apartment, finding another a dress for the daytime Emmy's, throwing a party together for a bride-to-be, buying lots of gifts, plane tickets and delivering house warming gifts. I took a leave of absence from the acting world and as if the universe were listening to me, my phone hasn't rang at all..which is both disconcerting and welcome at the same time. I did pick up a few more understudy performances in June which I'm looking forward to and I just got my first cover story for Back Stage which is so thrilling to me (I'll tell you when it comes out) because I've wanted to be a bona fide writer since I was in second grade and hand wrote a 30 page story called "Vacation with Friends," while on, um, vacation. At some point, I decided I had nothing interesting to say and chose the words of others. It's funny how certain dreams are fulfilled when you least expect it.
A couple of months ago, my boyfriend of four plus years told me, quite seriously, that I wasn't a very good friend. I've been trying to mend that and seem to have gone a bit too far the opposite direction. I need some me time and I can't seem to get it! Still, what I think he meant was that I wasn't necessarily a bad friend, I was just so focused on my career that I didn't have time to put into maintaining relationships that were important to me.
Which goes back to the whole "my phone isn't ringing" thing...My friends stopped calling because I was never available which made me lonely and even more frustrated with the lack of balance in my life. With some love and care, I must say I'm doing a bang up job of repairing what I had lost. I'm not too worried about auditions being MIA right now. I'm giving myself all of June to continue working on a cool writing project and to get to all of those weddings. I fully understand that the minute I stop hustling for acting work the momentum stops too. I'm ready to infuse some serious love into my career again come July. I hope to repair a lot of the things that just aren't working right now. And I hope the things that were broken with me will be repaired as well.
In the meantime, I hope to keep this blog interesting with new and old tales of actor challenges and traps. But if I can't do that, I promise I won't make you read about my stamp collection, the wax in my ears or my observations on grass.
Yours in love and war,
(See? I've even mended my relationship with Bill Clinton)