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Fill 'er up!

Pour
For the past 13 years, my singular goal has been to make a living as an actress. I am here. It sounds trite, but it truly is a dream come true. No, I'm not rich, nor am I famous, but those weren't my goals. My goal was to make a living as an actress.

At this point, I am happy. Not just with the fact that I am a working actress, but with my life in general. I might even be content if I were inclined to relax and allow it, but I'm a little too high strung to seriously entertain that notion just yet. Now I'm trying to figure out what's next. I am about to begin my search for a voiceover agent--just broadening my scope with regard to marketing. But I really need to invest some time, energy, (and money, I guess, because everything is so darned expensive,) into my personal development. As artists, we are constantly giving: creating, pouring out...it is equally important to refill our vessels so that we actually have something to give, and so that we don't deplete our resources.

Toward the end of last year, I was burnt. I'm much better now, but still not going full steam ahead--just trying to find the middle ground so that I can be balanced and healthy.

I may study a foreign language or take a dance class...the jury is still out. I've just started working with a personal trainer. One thing I have been doing lately (and it doesn't cost anything at all) is allowing myself to be inspired by the people around me. A couple of my friends are on the verge of some really exciting developments in their respective lives. I've watched them both for several years now--heard their ideas when they were just thoughts. I've watched them start down the path, and right now they each have their hand on the doorknob, ready to take the next step, and I am so excited for them. There's nothing like watching someone who is doing something that he or she is passionate about. I told one of them that watching this process is "like watching a little spark burst into flame." They have both told me that they are inspired by my journey. The feeling is definitely mutual. I am just grateful to have a front-row seat.

I'm also planning to get out more--see more plays, more movies, go to the museums. See what other artists are doing. While they are pouring out, I'll fill my cup. I have to resist the impulse to get caught up in the frenzied rat race that is Hollywood, and go a little easier on myself as well.

Maybe I'll take a yoga class. Maybe I won't.

Easy. See?

--Nicole J. Butler

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