Just Throw It Away or IMDB is Evil (Alternate Title)
Speaking of helping hands, a friend of mine noticed that I wasn't on the audition list for a movie that's being directed by someone we both know socially, and that similar actresses had been called for appointments. The director knows my work, so she asked him why I wasn't on the list, and wouldn't you know, he just forgot to write me down. Thank God for helping hands!
So, casting called my agent yesterday to request an audition (Did you hear that agent? Are you even submitting me for work?) and I download my scene. 4 lines. Now I'm not complaining, but I just can't seem to master the art of under fives. I would love to be a fly on the wall in that casting room and see who books the job and why. I've been taught, workshopped to death, and privately coached to always make a strong choice, even with five lines. And I always do. I whittle it down to a small, uber camera friendly, minuscule of a strong choice and I always hear the same thing: Good. Now do it again, and just throw it all away. And I always think, really? You mean, more than I just did?? And I'm telling you, the casting director always likes the throw away, I don't even know what I just mumbled with absolutely no expression choice better than the first take. It drives me crazy! It drives me nuts! I don't even know why I prepare! I throw up my hands. I have no idea what they want from me.
And for the record: IMDB is evil. A colleague of mine programmed all of the computers in her office to automatically go to her IMDB page when the Internet is opened. She's trying to increase her star meter. If you don't know what that is, don't investigate! Stay blissfully unaware!
But that's not specifically why IMDB is evil. I was all confident about my audition today. For all I knew, it was for some horror film that my friend was directing that had a big budget and would probably go straight to DVD. Wellll...then I do some investigating on IMDB and find out a big studio is producing it and the casting director cast several academy award nominated movies and has a bunch of other projects just getting off the ground. All of a sudden, I feel my blood pressure rising and the importance meter for the audition going through the freakin' roof. (Meanwhile, my star meter is holding steady at 1/2 a million) Stay away from IMDB before auditions! Nothing good will come from it!