I Hate Your Blackberry

Someone pulled the brake on the uptown R and I'm running late for my audition, jackass, so get the hell out of my way.

I've already started shushing people so I'm guessing it won't be long until I am in a street fight with some twit with a blackberry who thinks he/she is the only person on the sidewalks of Manhattan, or that they are the only human on earth gifted enough to walk at a reasonable pace and in a straight line while squinting at and typing on a mouse-sized keypad.

Walking in Manhattan should be like driving:

1. Know where you're going before moving.  Never pull into traffic then stop and go, "Ohhh.  Is it this waaay or that waaay?  Hmmm…" 
2. Your face should be pointing in the direction you are moving in.
3. Don't ever stick your arm out. 
4. Back up only after you have already come to a complete stop and are absolutely certain no one is behind you.
5. If you need to stop for any reason – PULL OVER. 
6. You may never, ever, ever for any reason stop in front of/just inside of a doorway, or at the top/bottom of a flight of stairs or escalator.  (I once body-checked a kid at the Bowery station because I lack the ability to stop escalators with my mind.)
7. You deserve a beating if you're on your cell phone while driving, just like you deserve a beating if you try to keep up with the flow of foot traffic while using your soul-sucking blackberry.

Maybe this is harsh.  And yes, I'm sure I have broken all of these rules on occasion (except the blackberry one – I don't have one).  But let's be smart about this.  Let's be considerate.  And if you do need to check it asap for directions or an address - then for the love of God, PULL OVER.  Please. 

And, frankly, I'm not just annoyed by excessive and distracting blackberry (and cell) use on the streets – I'm also saddened by it.  Like, really?  Do you really need to check your blackberry now as you newly emerge from the subway?  You can't wait 30 seconds until you are out of the stairwell and out of my way and everyone else's?  Are you that co-dependant on a piece of plastic?  What is wrong with you?

--Susan Atwood

PS - Mad props to Two Boots pizzeria for posting the sign "Please finish your cell phone call before placing your order".  Now, just please enforce that rule because the woman ahead of me the other day was in clear violation.

Comments

[Jim Todd]

BRAVO!

These people need to be beaten in Times Square by an angry mob.